Free Pet Noir by Pati Nagle

Wright! How nice of you to visit! Will you excuse me a moment, Emma dear?”
    She got up and sailed over to us, her massive bosom leading the way, scarlet-painted smile beaming beneath a bouffant hairdo that was an improbable shade of red. She got a look at me and the smile widened.
    â€œWhat an adorable kitten! Did you just get it?”
    â€œUh, yeah,” said the chief. “His name’s Leon.”
    â€œHello, Leon!” She tickled my chin with her long, pink-polished nails. “Puddy, puddy!”
    I bristled, but kept my mouth shut and my claws to myself. Well, except for the ones I was using to hang onto the chief’s clingsuit. I couldn’t help it if those poked him a little.
    â€œOw—ah, ahem,” he said. “I think he’s a little lonely, being away from his family for the first time. I know you’ve got a cat, Mrs. Thompson, so I thought maybe—”
    â€œOh, yes!” she said. “Bring him on over here! Cuddles,” she sang in a cutesy voice as she led us toward the cash register, “you have a vi-i-i-s-itor!”
    Next to the register was a stand about a meter high, with long gold fringe around the edges and a sign that said “Cuddles” in curly script dangling from a little gold chain. On it was a cat bed done up in red velvet cushions, on top of which lay a large, orange tabby, gently snoring.
    Before I knew it the chief put me down on the stand. “Say hi to Cuddles, Leon.”
    I froze. His name notwithstanding, this cat looked like he could eat me for breakfast.
    He had stopped snoring when my feet hit the stand. Now he opened his huge green eyes, stared at me for a couple of seconds, then hissed, showing acres of teeth. A smell of fish, with a hint of garlic, washed over me.
    â€œCuddles!” said Mrs. Thompson. “That’s no way to treat a guest!”
    My fur was standing on end. My back had arched without my knowing it, my tail had tripled in diameter, and I was standing on my toes, ready to run for it.
    â€œEasy, Leon,” said the chief. He gave me an awkward pat on the head. I tensed.
    â€œWho the hell are you?” demanded Cuddles in a low growl.
    â€œNobody!” I answered in cat-talk, my voice coming out in a squeak. “Didn’t mean to bother you! This human just put me here.”
    The tabby’s eyes narrowed and he glanced up at the chief. “You’re with him?”
    â€œUh, sort of.”
    â€œWhat’s he doing in the tea shoppe? Usually he goes in the smoking room.”
    â€œI think he wanted me to meet you, Mr. Cuddles, sir.”
    He grimaced and rolled up onto his stomach. “The name’s Butch, kid.”
    â€œOh, Butch. Sorry.”
    He looked me up and down. “Geez, look at you. You’re a mess. Doesn’t your mother groom you?”
    That caught me off guard. My voice shook a little as I answered.
    â€œThey took me away from my mother. I haven’t seen her since yesterday.”
    â€œAw, heck. C’mere kid.”
    Butch stood up, which made him look even huger. A casual observer might think he was fat, but there were powerful muscles underneath all that orange fur. He came closer to me and I flinched.
    â€œEasy. Let me fix you up a little.”
    He licked the rumpled fur behind my right ear. It felt oddly comforting, even though he was a stranger. I found myself lying down, and before I knew it Butch put one big paw on my shoulder to hold me down while he went to town grooming the back of my neck.
    â€œThere!” cooed Tammy. “That’s nice!”
    I shut my eyes, not wanting to look at the chief while I was in this humiliating position. I became aware that the tip of my tongue was protruding between my fangs, and hastily pulled it in.
    â€œI think they’ll be all right now,” said Tammy. “Would you like a cup of tea, Chief Wright?”
    â€œOh, ah—well. Sure. Thanks.”
    From his voice I got the