Lucian does next time you go to Flesh. Ask him if Lucian is
still sleeping with clients.”
“ And how do
you expect me to fit that into a conversation?” She scoots to
the edge of her seat as if she's just waiting for an opening to get
up and leave.
“ I don't know.
I was hoping you could figure something out.”
“ Why don't you
just ask Lucian?”
“ Because I
don't know if he'll tell me the truth.” I draw my hand up to my
temple, feeling the beginning of a headache coming on.
“ Look, Amy,
the solution is simple. If you don't trust him, then don't date him.
I'm not going to spy on your boyfriend for you. That's high school
bullshit, and I have enough on my plate as it is.” Janice
stands, speaking down to me in a condescending tone. “He's your
problem. You deal with it.” And then she stomps off to her
room, leaving an air of tension behind that makes my eyes well up
with tears.
***
I tap my flower pen
on my desk, staring at my monitor blankly with a hollow feeling in my
chest. It seems that my relationship with Lucian is always causing a
divide with my friendships. It's not really his fault though. It's my
fault for always whining about him. My fault for pining after him and
putting him before the other more important relationships in my life.
My fault for expecting other people to go above and beyond to protect
my feelings.
Lucian is out of my
league emotionally. I'm ill-equipped to handle the bizarre adult
situations that our relationship has forced on me. All of my dating
life, I've become accustomed to things flowing smoothly. The
rockiness of trying to be with such a complicated man is not
something that I was ever prepared for.
I stare across the
room at the back of Derrick's head, at his shoulder length
dirty-blonde hair hanging in soft waves. He's been a saint through
all of this. So has Janice. Sometimes, I don't feel like I deserve
their friendship.
Maybe I should just
give up Lucian. Perhaps it would be better if my life returned to the
way it was before I met him—boring and loveless. But we've made
so much progress. He feels like a project I've been assembling piece
by piece. I can finally start to see the outline of something whole.
All I need to do is break the wall inside of him that needs Flesh.
It's the last step in having a normal relationship with him. I feel
like we've come too far for me to give up now.
I have way too much
time to think about it. My email inbox remains empty of any
correspondence from him. Days pass by, and though Lucian and I keep
contact at night, he doesn't seem interested in making progress on
his interior design project.
Unfortunately, I'm
not the only one who has taken notice of that. On Thursday, Tyra
calls Derrick and me into her office for a meeting.
“ What's
up?” I ask, feeling a bit stiff. It's obvious by Tyra's hard
expression that she's not very happy, which is never a good thing.
“ The
Reddick project.” She doesn't even look at us as she swivels in
her chair, dragging her long red nails across the top of her desk.
“Have either of you heard from Doctor Reddick lately?”
Derrick glances over
at me as if he expects me to fess up about sleeping with the client.
Suddenly, the room feels ten degrees hotter.
“ No,”
I lie, shaking my head. “Have you, Derrick?” I turn my
attention to him.
He rolls his eyes,
which I fear is a dead giveaway that something more than meets the
eye is going on, but then he says, “The guy isn't exactly fond
of me. Why would he contact me?”
Tyra flattens her
palms on her desk and gazes up at me. “Have you tried reaching
out to him?”
“ I
Cc'd you in the emails I sent to him.” Well, all the ones that
didn't contain anything personal. “He's unresponsive.”
She lets out a long,
labored sigh. “Shit.”
Derrick and I both
go rigid. It's not often that Tyra curses, and when she does, it's
usually followed by a chewing out.
Instead of saying
anything else, she picks up the phone on her
Madeleine Urban ; Abigail Roux