Free I Want You to Shut the F#ck Up by D.L. Hughley Page B

is really saying that their lives are taken care of because they aren’t starving. That’s what the purpose of a literal safety net is, to keep you from dying—and that’s it. The idea that poverty is a trap, that some groups are more affected by poverty than others, is foreign. To use language familiar to Romney, a helping hand to the poor is an investment that will reap dividends in the future. But he doesn’t see it that way. For him,
in his own words
, it’s “Problem solved!” and let’s move on to the next issue.
Rick Perry
    I think Rick Perry is a complete idiot, but I think some of the criticism of him is misplaced. Rick Perry’s idiocy is not a function of his poor debate performance. I know a lot of stand-up comedians who are spectacular on the stage and deliver their material with precision timing. But once the lights are off, they’re dumb-asses. To me, it seemed that Perry’s inarticulate nature was more a function of a man who had never been challenged and never had to defend himself in the art of debate.
    A big criticism of Rick Perry came when it was discovered that his family owned a camp that had the word “Niggerhead” painted on some rock. But historically, presidents have
hated
black people. The number of presidents who liked black people and cared about their interests can really be counted on one hand. A president whois prejudiced isn’t racist; he’s
retro
. He’s just keeping the American tradition alive.
    What I found most compelling about Rick Perry is his subtle attempt to go after Mitt Romney’s (and Jon Huntsman’s) religion. Rick Perry always talked about President Obama’s war on religion—while he let one be waged on his behalf. When pastor Robert Jeffress called Mormonism a “cult,” Perry refused to denounce him. Despite what some news accounts portrayed, Jeffress wasn’t being a fire-breathing nut. He described Mitt Romney as “a good, moral person, but he’s not a Christian. Mormonism is not Christianity.” This is a theological point that a Christian pastor has every reason to believe. A “cult” is just a minority religion based around a man who claims to be a prophet—and that’s exactly what Joseph Smith portrayed himself as being.
    The thing is, there are questions about Mormonism that
I
genuinely have. I don’t know that Rick Perry would agree with my specific questions, but surely he’s not down with their whole thing. The issue I have with the Latter-day Saints is this: Up until the late 1970s, the Mormons viewed it as a
sin
to be black. This was during
my
lifetime. I was in high school when they changed that. But if this was part of the revelation given to Joseph Smith by the angel Moroni, you can’t change that just because it’s politically correct. Revelation is revelation. One thing Christians won’t do is change their beliefs to be popular. They believe what they believe, it’s in the Book, and that’s that. You can’t change your theology because the United States government and society at large is uncomfortable with some of your ideas. The idea behind faith is that if you believe in something past yourself, this deity will make you a better human being—except for us black people, in this case. There are things even God can’t do, apparently.
    But if the God that you believe in, invest your life in, spend your life serving and proselytize for, believes that somebody’s inferior, then
you
always will believe that.
Always
. You’ll hear Christians say, “God said it; I believe it; and that’s it.” So when it comes to Mormonism, I don’t know which it is: Are they Christians who will believe in what the scripture says, no matter how unpopular? Or are they a cult who change their views to fit in with the larger culture?
Herman Cain
    Let me compare Herman Cain to Barack Obama by objective standards. When Obama was running for the Democratic nomination, he was facing a very impressive field of rivals. When you watched them debate,