Free I Want You to Shut the F#ck Up by D.L. Hughley

a
civilian
city. Three days later we nuked Nagasaki, another
civilian
city. Nagasaki was also known for having the largest
Christian
population in all of Japan. We didn’t make specific demands on Japan. We asked for
unconditional surrender—
and we got it. All the Japanese could hope for was that the nation that had nuked the fuck out of them would be nice when we took over. It wasn’t a negotiation. This was fear, pure and simple.
    Now let’s fast-forward to 2003. President Bush was trying to get support for an invasion of Iraq. He was using almost verbatim the arguments currently being used to try to get us into Iran, atleast at home. Abroad, it was a different matter. Bush got on the phone with Jacques Chirac, the president of France. Bush told him that “the Biblical prophecies are being fulfilled” and that “Gog and Magog are at work in the Middle East.” I can only imagine the poor French translator sitting there, thinking that President Bush was having a stroke. There was no way Frenchie had ever heard the terms “Gog and Magog” before in any language. Chirac similarly had no idea what the fuck Bush was talking about. Only later did he learn that Gog and Magog feature in Revelation, the Biblical account of the end of the world, and that these two mythological nations presage the emergence of Antichrist. So who is the real religious zealot here?
    Class dismissed, motherfucker!
Jon Huntsman
    Utah is a red state, but people don’t realize how red it is. It’s the most Republican state in terms of party registration. So why the hell did Jon Huntsman, who is telegenic and conservative and experienced, fail to gain traction? In certain circumstances, I could even see myself voting for him. And in general, knowing that the Democrats are going to lose once in a while, I would hope that they lose to Republicans like Jon Huntsman.
    By any ostensible standard, the former Utah governor and ambassador to China should have been a front-runner. So why is serving your government a sin, in Republican eyes, and being a diplomat a disgrace and an embarrassment? It’s not because he worked for a Democrat; Texas governor Rick Perry campaigned for Gore, and that wasn’t a disqualifying issue. Clearly, Republicans can wrap their head around something like that happening, and then havingthe man switch teams. It’s when you’re working for
this
president that you have a problem, as Jon Huntsman discovered. You would think that they would regard him as trying to mitigate Obama’s “damage.” Huntsman’s failing is another example of the irrationality that has surrounded President Obama, an irrationality largely driven by race.
Ron Paul
    Conservatives like to claim that progressives are opposed to listening to their arguments, and that black progressives especially are completely hypnotized or brainwashed or delusional. Whatever the mental condition is, we all seem to have it. But I would argue that I have never seen a conservative admit that there’s any truth to the progressive position, whereas many times I can see an element of truth on the other side. In fact, I’ve had my mind brought around because of my conversations with Ron Paul.
    I’ve met Ron Paul twice. The first time was when he and I were both guests on Bill Maher’s show. Ron Paul basically said that the Civil War never had to be fought. This of course sounded completely crazy to me at first. “Thank God it was,” I said, “or I’d be the only black guy here, serving tea.”
    But Ron Paul went on to point out that we could have freed the slaves and saved ourselves a lot of blood and national treasure and life. Many other countries around the world had slavery, and they didn’t have to kill each other to free the slaves. What the British did, for example, was buy all the slaves from the slave owners, set them free, and then pass abolition laws. It was peaceful and it was cheaper. I had never heard it explained that way before, and I thought it was