Free A Real Disaster by Molly Ryan

company. I had no
idea what time it was but the sun filtering through the window hinted at
daylight.
    My heart started to beat fast as I
realized I was lying next to Nash. His arm was wrapped around me. I moved away
and laid on my back far enough that I didn't feel like
I was close enough to cuddle with him.
    “How are you feeling?” I asked
immediately, my heart’s pace slowing down. “How’s your head? Your
jaw?”
    “Both are fine,” Nash said.
    I looked at him, confused, before my
mouth split into a grin.
    “You’re so lame,” I said as I pulled
myself up to the sitting position. “What time is it?”
    “Nearly noon,” Nash said and immediately
my heart went into my throat.
    “Oh my God, I missed my class!” I
screeched, jumping off the bed.
    I rummaged around the cluttered floor
for my bag and shoes. My head was spinning. How could I forget class? It was
the first class of the semester and I missed it!
    “Calm down.”
    “Calm down?! How can I calm down?” I
demanded. “I missed class, Nash, and it was the first one! I can’t even imagine
what the professor thinks of me! He’s going to hate me if he doesn’t already!”
    I grabbed my stuff and shoved my feet
into the shoes. As I moved I calculated how quickly I could get to the
professor’s office. Maybe I would be able to talk to him, explain what
happened. I could tell him about Nash and the concussion. Hopefully that would
sway his opinion.
    “Lily, calm down,” Nash said again.
    He tugged at my arm, pulling me onto his
lap. I struggled as Nash wrapped his arms around me. Bad memories came flashing
back to me…
    “Get off of me!” I seethed. “I have to
go talk to my professor. I have to make this right. I screwed up, Nash, I
screwed up badly.”
    “No you didn’t,” Nash said. “It’s okay
if you miss a class. The first two weeks of school are when people drop classes
and add classes. The classes don’t really start until that period is over. I
doubt you missed much, if anything, today. I promise.”
    “Are you sure?” I asked, doubt filling
my head.
    “I’ve been at this school longer than I
care to remember. Don’t worry so much.”
    I let myself relax and I tugged his arms
apart, slipping out from between them.
      “You need to relax a bit or you’re going to
give yourself a heart attack.”
    “No I’m not. I’m resilient. I’ve been
this neurotic since I was younger. What’s going to
give me problems is you holding me like that. Don’t ever do that again…”
    I took a deep breath.
    “Sorry, won’t happen again. I’m
surprised that you haven’t had a heart attack though. Why are you so hard on
yourself?”
    I shrugged, unable to explain it to him.
How could I explain my ‘good girl’ status and need to be perfect? It was a self-imposed
purpose, an obsession really, and my parents’ approval fueled it. When everyone
expects you to be perfect, and you succeed, it becomes like a drug. You want to
succeed over and over again, no matter what the cost.
    “Because I’m good and I’m good at being
good. That’s who I am,” I told him. “I want to be the best, act the best, and reach
the highest.”
    “But at what cost?”
    “At whatever cost it takes,” I answered
immediately.
    Nash furrowed his eyebrows together.
    “It’s not as bad it sounds, I swear.”
    “Good because it sounds like you’re a
bit psychotic.”
    “Thanks,” I said warily. “That’s so
nice.”
    “I never said I would be nice. I’m not
nice… I’m honest.”
    “Well maybe some people don’t want the
honesty.”
    “Those are the people who usually need
it the most.”
    I rolled my eyes at him.
    My brain was beginning to work on
overdrive trying to figure out what was going on with Nash and I. Everything
was moving fast, faster than I thought it ever would. He didn’t ask me out but
tried kissing me and called me…
    Sexy…
    These were cautionary signals.
    We were hanging out and joking as
friends too though. Just because