Free Drawn Into Darkness by Nancy Springer

before him. He felt alone and lost in his life. In the mornings Amy stayed in bed so she would not have to speak to him. Even Dixieland Trucking could no longer hold him steady during the long days. Driving gave him too much time to think, and his thoughts disturbed him. So much so that, impulsively, he pulled off the road beside a cotton field, took out his cell phone, and thumbed a number he normally called only once a year, at Christmastime.
    â€œYo.” The old man sounded a bit blurry. Chad wondered whether his father had been drinking.
    None too affectionately he asked, “You sober, Dad?”
    â€œChad! I was sleeping. I work nights now.” Anxiously, as if he expected to hear that someone had died, Pop asked, “Is everything all right?”
    Chad responded with a mirthless laugh.
    â€œOkay, stupid question,” said his father, sounding awake and focused now. “I thought maybe something happened, like maybe they found Justin.”
    â€œNo such luck. I don’t think they ever are going to find Justin, which is why I called you.”
    â€œCome again, son?”
    To be so gentle, Dad had to be sober. Sure, he had been saying for years now that he had stopped drinking, but despite wanting to believe, Chad had sardonic thoughts. Hey, look at the pigs flying. Would wonders never cease?
    He could not help sounding snide as he responded, “I called to ask you for advice in your area of expertise.”
    â€œWhich is?”
    â€œForgetting about your son and leaving your family.”
    â€œWhoa. What the hell is going on, Chad?”
    â€œNothing. Same as before. Wearing me down.” Chad figured his father knew the score, albeit long-distance; plenty of checks had arrived from Birmingham. Dad would probably have done more, like maybe come to lend a hand, if he’d thought Chad would let him. “I’m over my head in debt. Amy won’t work at anything except spending money, mostly to find Justin, who is almost certainly dead—” Chad’s voice broke up like a bad cell phone signal, but he turned the pickup truck back on for the sake of cold air-conditioning and forced himself to keep talking. “My son’s gone, and I barely got a wife or a family anymore. All me ’n’ Amy do is fight, and the twins keep to themselves. At least they’ve got each other. But I—I feel like I’ve got nothing anymore. Less than nothing. I just want to walk away. Like you did.”
    A pause. Then Dad drawled, “Now, don’t that just take the cake? Ain’t Kyle and Kayla the same age you were when I left? Which I have been told hurt you so bad you still haven’t forgiven me?”
    True enough. Chad still felt the same old pain and anger, and he still thought his father had some damn nerve trying to get back into his life decades later. Childish resentment edged his voice as he said, “Dad, I’m asking you for help now.”
    â€œI hear you. I’m just having trouble believing you.”
    Now, wasn’t that just too damn perfect? His father didn’t believe him either.
    Chad hardened his voice. “Believe me. I want out. I want to know how you got the guts.”
    â€œIt wasn’t guts, Chad—it was rotgut whiskey. Liquid stupidity out of a bottle. Ruined my liver and my life, and you know damn well it was as wrong as wrong can be.”
    â€œRight or wrong, I got to do something to get out of this situation. If there was a cliff handy, I’d jump off it.”
    â€œI’ve felt the same way. It’ll pass. Are you at work?”
    â€œI was.”
    â€œYou still are. Do as I say, not as I done, because I fucked up bad and it ain’t no honor to either of us if you follow in my footsteps.”
    â€œDad—”
    â€œSon, it’s taken me a lifetime, but now I have a chance to do right by you and I don’t want to blow it. I need you to do as I say, not as I did. I haven’t