Free Finding Home by Ninette Swann

other end of the line. Harold, she assumed.
    “Well, Jess, we don’t have much…”
    “Oh, I know,” she said, the air pushing out of her lungs. “I’ll pay you back as soon as I can. As soon as I get to the city. With interest.”
    “Oh no, it’s not that, dear. We wish we could give you more. All we have available is in the cookie jar on the back counter. It’s yours. You don’t have to pay it back. Consider it a really crappy severance and Christmas bonus tied into one.” Ellie laughed, but there was no mirth in her voice. “Will we see you when we return tonight?”
    “I don’t know,” Jessica replied. “I want to get a train out as quickly as possible. But I’ll be back, I promise.”
    Ellie laughed that sad laugh again. “Oh, we’ve heard that before, my dear.”
    * * * *
    The cold wrapped around Ben as the wind whipped through the old train station. Jessica stood at the ticket counter, her red curls popping defiantly out of the tight winter cap she’d donned before they left. Fingers frozen even through his gloves, Ben blew on his hands to warm them. It had no effect at all.
    He felt hollow and depressed. What had started out as a promising Christmas had shriveled into every other Christmas he could remember since childhood. The holiday left him feeling inadequate and small. He couldn’t help but blame himself for Jessica’s departure.
    She claimed she had unfinished family business to attend to, but wouldn’t those issues have been there since she came to Minnesota? Why after sleeping with him was it imperative for her to leave immediately? Did she think it had been a mistake? Could the best sex of his life have been nothing more than a misstep for the beauty exchanging his parents’ emergency fund for a ticket back home?
    His ears burned at the thought. Yet another instance where Ben was left in the dust, unsure of what he’d done wrong but sure it was his fault. He had been kidding himself to think that he could change. He would never do anything but let other people down.
    “All set,” Jessica said, as she reached him. They sat on one of the empty benches. It turned out not too many people traveled by train on Christmas Eve.
    “When do you leave?” Ben asked, unable to meet her intense green gaze.
    “The train should be here in fifteen minutes.”
    “Are you sure you have to go?” Ben cursed himself for the words he couldn’t help.
    “Ben,” Jessica said, taking his gloved hand in her own. “I will be back as soon as I can. I promise. And I’ll call to keep you updated.”
    Ben nodded, but he didn’t believe her. He knew better than anyone how empty those words could be. He might as well face the facts. He’d never see her again. They sat in silence for a few moments. Though Ben wanted to say something, he couldn’t muster the words. Jessica angled her head, resting it on his shoulder. He took comfort in the sugary scent of her hair under the strong smell of the homemade wool cap.
    “Did my mom make that for you?” he asked, finally.
    “Yes, isn’t it lovely?”
    “It looks wonderful on you.” Ben sighed. Pointless last conversation. He should be telling her how much she meant to him, how much he cared for her, how sorry he was for whatever he’d done to frighten her away. Pride held him back. No need to make this more awkward than it already was. If he bared his soul and she laughed at him or ignored it, he felt certain he would never recover.
    The train screeched to a halt outside the drafty building, and they rose to meet it. Ben carried Jessica’s bags, just two, and loaded them for her. She came to stand next to him as he finished, and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching for her. He tilted his head and pressed her lips in a chaste, aching kiss, imprinting this scene as a snapshot in his memory. As she pulled away, she wiped tears from her eyes.
    “This is silly,” she said with a shaky laugh. “I’ll be back soon. Let’s just hope you’re still