like being famous, you never have, and you donât want to be famous any more â thatâs going to be difficult with Charlie as a husband, but we donât need to go there. I respect your feelings, Jessica, and I understand how hateful it can be having people recognise you all the time, blundering into the middle of conversations in restaurants, feeling free to offer advice you donât want, or photographing you when youâd rather they didnât. Iâm sure itâs uncomfortable in a hundred ways I donât even know about, and youâve come to a time when you want your privacy back â particularly after whathappened. And you deserve it, which is why Iâm not going to try to make you change your mind about presenting. The trouble is, bringing you in as the producer of a topical arts programme would mean pushing aside those who are currently doing the job. If there were a vacancy, obviously there would be less of a problem, but I would still have to explain to the board why Jessica Moore is not doing what she does best to pull in the ratings. However, thatâs academic, because there isnât a vacancy. If that changes, obviously we can talk again.â She flashed another smile. âYou have my support, Jessica, please believe that, but as much as Iâd like to have a completely free hand in these matters Iâm afraid I am answerable to those above me.â
Jessica nodded. âOf course,â she said quietly, not sure how much of the diatribe she believed, even though she could think of no reason for Melissa to lie. âI really appreciate you coming to see me,â she said. âIt couldnât have been easy, with us being friends and . . . Well, thank you.â
Melissa got to her feet. âItâs for me to thank you,â she said, putting a hand on Jessicaâs arm. âYouâve taken it very well. You know if thereâs anything else, anything at all . . .â
Jessica smiled and turned towards the open French doors. As they walked across the garden she considered telling Melissa about her book offer, but decided not to. It wasnât something she was going to do, so what was the point in bringing it up?
At the gate Melissa changed back into her garden rubbers. âBy the way,â she said, popping her Manolos into her bag once more, âNikkiâs doing extremely well. Everyoneâs very impressed with her,â and with afriendly squeeze of Jessicaâs arm she started back down the lane.
As she closed the gate Jessica could feel tears burning in her eyes and was angry with herself for minding about the bloody job, when she hadnât really wanted it anyway. Or was it that Melissaâs praise for Nikki had been a reminder that she would never hear anyone talk about Natalie that way now?
Hearing the phone ringing inside she hurried back across the garden and picked it up, hoping it would be Charlie, but knowing it couldnât be, because he was on air now.
âJessica?â a wonderfully familiar voice cried from the other end. âItâs me. How are you?â
âLilian,â Jessica gasped, feeling more emotional than ever.
âIâm sorry I havenât been in touch for a few days,â Lilian said, âitâs been a madhouse here. Still is, so I canât stay long Iâm afraid. I just wanted to check in, find out how everythingâs going?â
âItâs OK, I think. Iâve just been turned down for a job . . .â
âWhat? Are you serious?â
âLong story, Iâll tell you another time. Iâve braved the supermarket and been whistled at. Someoneâs asked me to write a book . . .â
âStop there, that sounds interesting. What about?â
âWhat do you think?â
âAh, I see. Not something you want to get into?â
âNo.â
âAnd how are things with Charlie?â
âThe