Free Forgive Me Father For I Have Loved by Tiana Laveen Page A

assistance always came with a price.
    In the past, especially while he was out of the country, in places like Haiti where disaster was so prevalent, he felt at times, helpless and missed his family...but she was always there. He pitied himself a time or two, then pushed the pain away as he always had, off to the side like rubble or putrid debris falling down into a sewer drain. He’d prided himself on stopping—months, sometimes years rolled past when he stayed clean, but now that Josh was gone, the liquid lady sat by his side again, hugging him tight, making all the ‘bad’ inside him melt, and disappear into the bottomless depths of the lifeless lake...
     
    ~***~
     
    Rhapsody hated that she was in love with the cold grass. Her allergies didn’t appreciate the love fest. The ongoing love affair had been relentless, tugging at her need for nature, for weeks. Every spring, the fling would begin, then before she knew it, she was hightailing it away from her occupational obligations, and stretching her body to the beautiful limit—what she called, ‘yogamatized’. It was a bit too cool to wear a leotard this early evening, so she settled for navy blue leggings and an oversized T-shirt. It messed up her mojo, but it still got the job done. Bending and stretching, she kept her eye on her surroundings. Children hand in hand with their parents, couples with barking pets that were better cared for than the average U.S adult, and then, there was him...
    On and off, she’d see the smiling man on the chipped paint wooden bench.
    You’ve become a song, thank you and you know what? You look kinda familiar...
    It was always the same bench, and if she didn’t know any better, she’d swear at times he wasn’t even breathing. He blended in like shrubbery—no, like a statue—but his eyes caught the glimmer of the sun and on cloudy days, they darkened with something she couldn’t describe. He intrigued her, perplexed her, and called to her. From one angle, he’d look harmless. From another, something mischievous and possibly dangerous brewed. Nevertheless, he had a peace about him—yet, still, he also looked like the entire world was on his shoulders.
    In short, he was an enigma. Someone that could both go unnoticed and command attention. Sometimes, he’d meet her glance, and give an acknowledging nod. Other times, he’d stare off into space, as if uninterested in his very own existence. Today was different, though.
    While she lay on her back and brought her legs up, the fluffy clouds rolled by showing her all the soft pictures they could make. Yet, when she turned to the side, they were gone and all that was left was the man slipping what appeared to be a bottle of clear liquor into his jacket pocket. Worse of all, he had a nasty look of guilt about him after it was all said and done. She knew that look, she’d had it before—only her addiction wasn’t a bottle, but a leeching ex-lover she’d allowed back into her life one time too many. Nonetheless, she was honest with herself and from that honesty came some pain, some harsh truth. Honesty was her teacher.
    Sometimes, she just didn’t want to be alone; it had nothing to do with heartbreak or love anymore. She wanted a warm body beside her, that was why she’d let him back, and when it was over, she didn’t mourn him or the relationship any longer, only the familiarity. At last though, she’d had enough. He was wearing on her, getting on her nerves. She’d thrust herself back into her exercise routine a few months after she gave him his true walking papers, and never looked back.
    The park was an awesome escape, a healing zone. People watching was epic. Plentiful animals, wild and domestic, to observe during their daily routines, and the perfect scene to stretch and simply appreciate the new opportunities coming her way. Yeah, she was in a good place, but her voyeuristic nature compelled her—her biggest downfall. In her enjoyment of nosey surveillance, she’d