Gale’s relationship, but it's now on the mend. She understood this was my father’s doing and she wasn’t unaccustomed to his poor choices.
“Yeah, on the phone, but what if I’m not good enough in person?”
I tilt my head to the side and stare at him for a second, before standing to my feet and kneeling in front of him. I rest my hand on his shoulder so he’s looking straight at me.
“Dylan, my family isn’t Todd. They aren't going to turn you away or think anything other than how lucky they are to have you with them. I feel the same. I know we’ve only known each other a short time, but you are my son and I love you. Nothing could ever change that. It was instant the moment I saw your picture at the Thorns.”
“But I wasn’t good enough for T …”
I stop him. “Todd is a jackass. He didn’t know what a good thing he had. And you know what? I’m glad. If he hadn’t screwed up, I wouldn’t be here right now with you.”
I pull him into a hug. I feel him sighing in relief and his tears soaking my shirt. He’s needed to do this, to get out his true fear. Todd made him feel unwanted. Oh, but this boy is so wanted and so needed, he has no idea. I wasn’t lying when I said it was instant. The very moment I looked at that picture, I loved him. I may have been angry, but never with him. He’s not done a thing wrong in this situation. I rub his back soothingly, holding him tightly, trying to comfort him the best I can. To make up for all the times I should’ve been there but wasn’t.
“Hey, what’s going on? What happened?” Shayla asks, sitting on the arm of the chair. Dylan sits back and pulls her to him. She’s halfway in his lap and in the chair. She squeaks at the suddenness. “Oh, baby, what’s wrong?”
“I’m scared.”
“Of what, Dyl?”
“Of not being good enough for the Jacobs’.” He sits back, wiping his eyes. I grab some tissues from the table and hand them to him.
“You are a Jacobs and you are good enough. That was never the issue. Trust me,” Shayla says.
He leans his head back on the chair and rubs his eyes. “I need to know why you did it. Why you didn’t tell them about me?”
I look at Shay and she looks at me. She moves back to the arm of the chair so she can see him better. I can see she is debating, running through possible responses and then she looks resolved as she starts speaking.
“I was in foster care when your dad and I started dating. He’s older than me, not that it’s wrong, it’s fine. We could date, but we couldn’t be intimate. He could’ve gotten into big trouble, even though the Thorns were adopting me, and the worker didn’t know I was pregnant until it was finalized. I begged them not to tell. I didn’t show until really late in my pregnancy and I wore baggy clothes. Simon, my caseworker, he didn’t know until you were two. He sought me out. He tried then to get me to tell him who your dad was, but I told him it wasn’t his business anymore. He knew it was your dad, accused him. He wanted me to press charges. Plus …”
I stop her. I turn to Dylan. “Your grandpa, my dad, he scared your mom. That’s why as soon as she graduated, you guys moved away.”
“That’s why Maw and Pop came to stay with us so much? You didn’t want to come back here?” Dylan asks.
“I was so afraid that even though I was over eighteen, they’d still find a way to press charges. I knew your dad was in the military and I just imagined all these terrible things happening to him. I couldn’t bring myself to admit to anyone that he was your dad until you asked when you were nine. I knew then I had to, but I made Maw and Pop promise not to tell anyone until I could reach your dad.” She took a huge breath, then looked over at me. I can see tears in her eyes. “I’ve never told anyone this, but I called your dad,” she says to me, then turns to Dylan, “your grandpa, shortly after your birthday that year, and told him you were curious. I told