Free Just Another Lady (Xcite Romance) by Penelope Friday

smile.
    ‘I’m fine, really.’
    ‘No you’re not.’
    ‘No, I’m not,’ she confessed.
    ‘I’ve been so worried. Elinor – tell me. Tell me everything.’
    Elinor took a deep, shaky, breath and began to relate the events of the evening. Lucius grew paler as she spoke; and she found it hard to meet his eyes as she told how she had kissed Sir Hugo in an attempt to bring him close enough for her to effect her escape. His hands gripped hers ever tighter. Then, back-tracking a bit from her escape, her face averted from Lucius, Elinor told of the things Sir Hugo had said – the horrible, suggestive comments he had made over and over again.
    ‘I will kill him,’ Lucius said grimly.
    Elinor gave what was supposed to be a laugh, but which came out more like a sob. ‘Well, it certainly wasn’t true, but I couldn’t tell him that I’m so terrible that not even my own husband wants me, let alone any of his friends.’
    ‘What did you say?’ Lucius loosened his grip on her a little, allowing him to look into her face.
    She smiled weakly, the expression betrayed by the tears that would insist on trickling down her cheeks. ‘I’m sorry, Lucius. A decent wife wouldn’t even speak of such things. But I’ve never been good at “decent” and it seems I’m not better at “indecent”.’
    ‘I never said that.’
    Elinor shut her eyes, trying to avoid the hurt expression she could see on Lucius’s face. ‘You didn’t need to.’ She took a breath. ‘Lucius, couldn’t we try again?’
    ‘I hurt you. I made you cry.’ Lucius’s voice was low. ‘I couldn’t forgive myself for that. I never thought–’
    ‘I don’t understand.’ Elinor’s mind was whirling. ‘You hated it. Hated me. I was terrible.’
    ‘How could you think that? It was the best night of my life. But you–’
    ‘I was so happy,’ she whispered. ‘So happy. That one night. And then you turned back to other women. I didn’t blame you: after all, it was our agreement. I was a wife to suit your convenience, one who would not complain about your affairs. I just hoped that sometimes there might be room for me also.’
    He pulled back a little to look her straight in the eyes. ‘Since the day I married you, I have never been near another woman, dearest.’
    Elinor wondered whether she had fallen into a dream world, where everything she had ever wanted was given to her. ‘Truthfully?’
    ‘On my honour.’ He gave a rueful smile. ‘I don’t say that it hasn’t been extremely frustrating at times, but once I had you, could you possibly think I would need or want anyone else?’
    ‘Yes,’ she whispered, honestly.
    ‘Octavius told me you thought so, once. I did not believe him, truth be told, but when he urged me to tell you of my love, I could not do so. Forgive me my pride, but I thought that even if you did not want me, I could gain some self-respect back by persuading you that others still did. It did nothing but hurt us both, I see now.’
    ‘Of your ...’ Elinor hesitated, wondering whether she had imagined the word. ‘Love?’ she repeated shakily.
    ‘Yes. I married you because I loved you,’ Lucius said, sounding almost angry. ‘What other reason would I have?’
    ‘But you said …’
    He stood up abruptly. ‘What was I supposed to do? You made it clear many years ago that you disliked me. I told myself I didn’t mind, made love to woman after woman in the hope it would help me get over you. But I never did. If I’d told you I loved you, would you have married me then? I knew you’d laugh in my face. But for your mother …’ He turned away. ‘I knew you’d do anything for her. God help me, I took advantage, and I should not have done that. I regret it. You should have married for love, as you deserved.’ He knelt beside the bed at her feet. ‘Forgive me, Elinor, if you can.’
    ‘Lucius …’ Elinor felt like she was seeing her husband for the first time. Always so cool, so collected; to see him broken and