Free Desecrating Solomon: Book 1 of 3 (Desecration Series) by Lucian Bane

she let him help her to the toilet. He got her turned around and in position. “Hold on to the towel bar with your right hand,” he instructed, helping her do that. “I’ll be right out here.”
    He stepped out and Chaos held on to the bar while slowly working her dress up. It hit her suddenly that she had no panties. Oh God. She tried to remember not having them before this. Panic rushed through her as she tried to remember things. But as she did, flashes of pain exploded in various parts of her body.
    “Are you okay?” he called.
    She sat on the toilet too quickly and a scream shot out.
    “What’s wrong?!”
    “I’m fine,” she choked out, trembling while sitting on the toilet. “I’m fine,” she gasped, shaking from the strain. “I got it,” she called through the sharp burn up her spine with the release of her bladder. “Oh God,” she whispered, rigid with agony as flashes of more memories slammed her stomach and stole her breath. 
    “Are you okay?” Solomon called, sounding upset.
    She shook her head, wanting to say no, she wasn’t okay. “I’m fine.” She made her voice loud and firm. “I’d like a shower.”
    He gave a small gasp then, “Are you sure?”
    “If I had a chair, I could manage it.”
    “A chair,” she heard him mutter then, “I have one here. Would you like me to put it in the shower?”
    “I need to… finish.”
    “Tell me when.”
    Chaos opened her legs, holding her breath as she wiped, knowing there would be pain. But when her trembling hand finally managed, the pain that should be there wasn’t. She touched all over down there, gasping in confusion. Then panic hit her as she felt with her fingers now. Oh God, no. Grandmother had not prepared her? She was supposed to prepare her!
    She closed her eyes, fighting the wave of hysteria. She was the Order’s Redemptrix Vessel and she’d not been prepared? Why? What did this mean now? For the mission, the Order? Did Master know? Did he change his mind? Was she supposed to prepare herself? But how in the world would she?
    She tried to remember being told anything about it, maybe she misunderstood the instructions that had been given?
    She fought her way to standing, using all her strength to pull herself up on shaky legs. She stood there, eyes clenched shut for several seconds. “Okay,” she finally managed.
    He opened the door and she didn’t look at him, feeling more ashamed than ever now. He put the chair in the shower. “How do you plan to undress?” he asked, sounding horrified.
    “I’ll manage.” She always managed, she always survived somehow, this was just a shower.
    “There’s probably a zipper I can undo to make it easier at least.”
    She nodded, too afraid to unlatch herself from the towel bar for fear of falling.
    “I’ll get the shower on and set first.” He turned and did that, shoving the flimsy white curtain all the way open. “I’ll put all the things you might need on the floor where you can reach them.”
    Again she nodded barely, her body beginning to tremble from holding onto the towel bar with all her strength.
    He finally approached her after getting everything ready. “Don’t move, I’ll look.” A few seconds later he mumbled, “Found it. Going to slowly unzip now.”
    For the first time she realized that his carefulness was having a positive effect on her body even if she did find it odd and her mind was opposed for some reason. The release of the zipper came with his mutters about bruising and probable broken ribs.
    Not broken. Master wouldn’t do anything life threatening, only things that made her wish she was dead. And right now, she did wish it, but what consumed her mind and soul were the exact details she lacked. 
    “I’ll manage the rest,” she whispered, still unable to raise her gaze.
    “I’ll be right outside the door,” he said, standing closer than she liked.
    He finally left and the second he shut the door, Chaos braced for the journey to the shower, feeling