Free Before She Was Mine by Kate Long Page B

least.’
    Liv snorted. ‘I’ll send her some muslin cloths to drape over her shoulder. Elegant they’re not, but they do the job. You know, she’s going to be in for an almighty shock.
She’s never had to care for a newborn before.’
    Nor have you , I thought, but I kept that to myself. ‘Anyway,’ I said, ‘you mustn’t let on that you know. Don’t tell a soul. She’s not announcing it
till the scan.’
    ‘When’s that?’
    ‘They do an early one at twelve weeks. And they want to do an amnio test because of her age, except she’s not entertaining that because she says it’s too big a risk and even if
there’s something wrong with the baby she wants to keep it, so there’s no point. But this is all in confidence. Don’t breathe a word to anyone, yeah?’
    She pushed a strand of wet hair away from her cheek. ‘Don’t worry. My lips are sealed. It is an extraordinary move, though, isn’t it?’
    ‘Keeping it secret?’
    ‘Getting pregnant.’
    I hadn’t registered it as a ‘move’. ‘I don’t know. I think it just happened.’
    Liv shot me a cynical look. ‘I suspect there’s a bit more to it than that, Frey.’
    I guessed what she was thinking . Once a feckless mother, always a feckless mother. Even in these days of condoms, pills, implants, caps and coils, the woman’s incapable of controlling
her own fertility. Ridiculous. Twenty-three years on and she’s the same silly girl.
    ‘It’s still a happy event. I mean, babies are meant to be fun. Having a little kid around, a new member of the family. We can take it for walks along the riverbank, show it where the
otter poos.’
    ‘I’m sure Melody will love that.’
    ‘Show it the damselflies, then. It’ll be cool.’ I tried to sound enthusiastic.
    ‘If you say so.’
    Then the pager bleeped, and all thoughts of Melody and her baby schemes fell away.
    This time she let me go in with her. As soon as we saw the nurse sitting at the back of the room, I guessed what was coming.
    ‘It needs to come out,’ said the consultant. He was middle-aged, quietly spoken, and his manner was very matter-of-fact.
    ‘The first biopsy was clear,’ I said.
    He nodded. ‘Yes, I appreciate that. But what matters now is that we remove the lump and possibly some of the lymph nodes too, and then we thoroughly examine the tissue we’ve taken
out.’
    ‘What if that doesn’t cure it?’
    ‘There are a number of routes. We’ll know more when we’ve operated.’
    Every sentence he addressed to Liv, but she wasn’t responding. Her eyes kept flicking from one face to another, to the poster urging self-examination, to the Seurat print of a boat on a
lake.
    ‘How soon?’ I asked.
    ‘Within a fortnight. A lumpectomy’s a relatively quick, straightforward operation. You go in as a day case.’
    ‘Will she need chemo?’
    ‘We can’t say at this stage. Again it depends on what we find.’ Still Liv hadn’t uttered a word. The consultant turned and indicated the nurse behind him who stepped
forward, smiling.
    ‘If you have any questions,’ she said, ‘or there’s anything you’d like to talk through you can come next door, have a chat.’
    I looked at Liv, but she only shook her head.
    ‘Or you can call me, and talk over the phone. It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?’
    That last note of kindness seemed to undo Liv. She stared at the wad of pamphlets the nurse was holding out to her. ‘It’s silly, but I can’t think. I just want to go
home.’
    ‘Come on, then,’ I said.
    I took the papers and opened the door for her. As I did so, I remembered Geraint, busy in the dining room with his urgent cataloguing of wetland leaflets, and sent a vibe of hate his way.
    Then we walked out into the waiting room, and a different future.
    I dropped Liv off then went straight on to the nursery because I’d told Ray that unless the appointment was massively delayed, I’d be fine for the afternoon. He was
filling a bucket under the main tap and saw