Free Caribou's Gift by Eve Langlais

certainly never expected to desire a domestic existence, ever since meeting Crystal and Gigi, it was all he could think of. All he wanted.
    What I need.
    It didn’t take a mission to realize his life had been missing something since he’d returned from the war. He’d tried to fill that gaping hole with drinking, pranks, work, hell, he’d even started the occasional fight to see if hitting things would help.
    Nothing had until now.
    Crystal and Gigi, and the life he could so easily picture with them, fit perfectly in the void. They offered a chance at a happy life, a full life. A new existence he’d get to enjoy as soon as he got through the next hellish hour. An hour of torture he would surely never live down.
    Luckily, no one in the staging area made fun of him in his ridiculous Rudolph getup. Lucky because the parade was about to start and he didn’t have time to wash the blood from his antlers if an idiot dared to mock him.
    The parade starting, though, didn’t mean he moved because he was, of course, leading the Santa sleigh, which meant he got to stand impatiently, in his harness, a herd of cow-like reindeer behind him and Earl the walrus practicing his ho-ho-ho’s.
    The floats moved out, one by one, lit with lights, garishly bright. The people of town, dressed in holiday regalia, moved out with them as Christmas music blared from speakers. The goodwill and cheer should have made him roll his eyes. Instead, he found it infectious. Next thing he knew, his hoof was tapping out the tune to ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’.
    Argh. Shoot me now. No. Don’t. He couldn’t fail in his mission for Gigi. She expected to see Rudolph, and by damn, she would, even if it killed him.
    Goodbye, cruel world.
    Time to accomplish Mission #746: Be the best fucking Rudolph ever for one little girl.
    He held his head high. Antlers a glitter, his nose a brilliant flashing red. To the refrain of ‘Rudolph’, out he pranced, leading Santa’s sleigh.
    Only to balk at the door as panic suddenly overwhelmed him.
    Everyone will see me.
    They’ll laugh.
    They’ll point.
    They’ll mock.
    They’ll…love me?
    Caught just inside the door didn’t mean he couldn’t see some expectant faces, both young and old, as well as in between. And, yes, they bore smiles, but no smirks. He saw happy smiles that bespoke of a humor that was joyous, not taunting.
    I survived the pit when I was in the army. I can survive this.
    Out he stepped.
    Jingle.
    Step.
    Jangle.
    He began a steady walk, which caused the nickel-plated bells on his harness—no silver here—to ring.
    After a few paces, he didn’t pay attention anymore to his steps as he heard the delighted squeals and exclamations from the little ones present.
    “Rudolph is leading the sleigh!”
    “Look how big he is compared to the other reindeer.”
    “He’s beautiful.”
    “Look at the size of his rack.”
    “Isn’t he handsome?” said a familiar voice. Crystal’s green eyes shone with thanks and affection.
    As for Gigi, she didn’t say a word, just stared at him with her bright gaze, her hands clasped in delight and her lips stretched in the biggest, happiest smile.
    His chest swelled. Oh yeah, mission accomplished.
    But she wasn’t the only child wanting his attention. Hell, if he was going to do it, might as well do it right. He swung his glance to the other side of the road and let them glory in the best goddamned Rudolph they’d ever seen.
    He pranced past Crystal and Gigi, following the marked parade route.
    There was something crazily addictive, and, yes, fulfilling about being a part of the parade. Of bringing joy to others. Not that he’d ever admit it.
    If his buddies asked how he liked playing Rudolph, he’d be sure to scratch his balls, say it was okay, and stress the fact that he’d done it for the children, not because it turned out he got a kick out of playing the part of a red-nosed freak.
    Liking it, though, didn’t mean he wasn’t anxious to finish. As