Free Something Like Thunder by Jay Bell Page B

always something to lose. Friendships were put at stake, casual acquaintances could end before becoming more. Telling his boss at the learning center had been an intense experience that would be repeated at each new workplace. Maybe someday being gay would cost him his job. Maybe this one, because Mr. Hubbard didn’t know. Nathaniel wouldn’t let that stop him. He refused to let fear dictate who he was. That was the deal. No gray areas. No compromises.
    “My type?” Nathaniel repeated. “Tall is good, as is a deep husky voice. That always drives me wild. A six-pack is cool too, since no matter how many sit-ups I do, mine never surfaces. I’m not big into facial hair, although a little scruff is okay.”
    Caesar continued to walk alongside him, appearing puzzled.
    “I’m gay,” Nathaniel said helpfully.
    He held Caesar’s gaze, refusing to show shame as he waited for judgment.
    “You’re gay?” Caesar repeated. “Seriously?”
    “Yup.”
    “Wow. That’s…” Caesar stared off into space before his eyes focused again. “That’s really cool!”
    Pine needles rustled underfoot as Nathaniel considered his words. “You think it’s cool that I’m gay?”
    “Yeah! I never would have guessed. Do you have a boyfriend?”
    “No.”
    “Why not?” Caesar said. “I mean, just look at you!”
    Without any convenient mirrors hanging on nearby trees, Nathaniel had only his memory to rely on. He had a strong brow, which Dwight insisted made him look like a Neanderthal. Aside from that, he didn’t consider any of his features noteworthy. More than a few girls had shown interest in him, but he never took much comfort in that. What he really wondered is what guys thought of him.
    “You think I’m hot or something?” Nathaniel asked, grinning to show the question was a joke.
    To his delight, Caesar chose to answer him seriously. “You could have anyone you wanted. I’m sure of it.”
    Nathaniel wasn’t convinced. “Maybe. Finding the right sort of guy isn’t easy.”
    “Have you tried online?”
    “Yeah.”
    “And?”
    Nathaniel smirked. “Are you asking for details?”
    Caesar grinned back at him. “Sure.”
    “Mind your own business.” In truth, he didn’t have an exciting story to share because half the guys didn’t look anything like their profile pictures, and those who did were more interested in getting into his pants than talking to him. Occasionally Nathaniel was tempted, but ideally he wanted his first time to be with someone he actually liked.
    Caesar looked disappointed, but he didn’t retreat back into himself. “Do my parents know?”
    “That I’m gay? Nope.”
    “Is it a secret?”
    “Not really. My policy is when it comes up naturally, I’ll talk about it. I don’t see the need to broadcast it.”
    “That makes sense,” Caesar said. “They’ll be okay with it though. They’re good people.”
    Nathaniel arched an eyebrow. “You’d be surprised how much hate can come from people convinced they are doing good. All those Bible thumpers telling me I’ll burn in Hell? They think they’re doing me a favor by trying to save my immortal soul. Are your parents religious?”
    “Yeah,” Caesar said. “We go to church every Sunday. They really are good people. All my siblings are adopted. You know that, right?”
    The oldest girl was Asian, so Nathaniel had suspected as much. “What about you?”
    “I’m their only biological child. For medical reasons. My parents didn’t let that stop them. They take in a lot of foster kids. I can’t count how many have come and gone.”
    “I’m sure they’re good people,” Nathaniel conceded. “They wouldn’t have let me tag along if they weren’t. With the gay issue though, it’s hard to guess how anyone will react.”
    Caesar nodded. “I know.”
    Nathaniel was pretty sure he didn’t, but he let it slide. “It gets lonely. Sometimes I wish more gay people were around. Maybe there are, but I can never tell who. I don’t want to