Free Haven 3: Forgotten Sins by Gabrielle Evans

and threw his hands in the air. “Then give me one good reason why I should stay. Just one, Nicky. That’s all I’m asking for is one goddamn reason!”
    “Because I love you.”
    A few months ago, that would have been all the answer or reason he needed, but not now. “Not good enough. I’m sorry, but I won’t stick around to be your dirty little secret anymore. I’m tired of being alone. I need more, and you obviously can’t give that to me.”
    “If we mate, you’ll die.”
    “Right. Uh-huh.” Jonas fisted his hands on his hips and stared down at his shoes. Even now, Nicholas was lying to him—and not well at that.
    Nicholas sighed and tugged at the ends of his dark hair. “Phillip wasn’t always the cruel asshole you knew. We were close, and I worshiped the ground he walked on.”
    The heartache in Nicholas’s voice broke through some of Jonas’s anger, and he found himself moving closer to the man. “I’m listening. Go on.”
    “The February before you moved to Olympia, something happened. It was stupid. The temperatures were warmer than usual that year, and I should have known better than to go out on the pond. I had just turned fourteen and thought I was invincible as most teenagers do, though.”
    “The ice broke,” Jonas surmised. He was close enough to touch Nicholas now, and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and taking his mate’s pale hand.
    Nicholas nodded slowly, and his broad shoulders began to shake.
    “You know Phillip is nine years older than me.” He waited for Jonas’s nod of confirmation before continuing. “He met his mate when he was sixteen, so he and Andre had been together for a little over seven years. God, he loved that man so much.”
    “Come here.” Jonas tugged on Nicholas’s hand and pulled the coven leader into his arms. He was probably going to regret it, but he couldn’t stand to see the look of anguish on his mate’s face. For better or worse, he loved the man, much the same as Nicholas described the love between Phillip and Andre. “What happened?”
    “I got trapped under the ice.” Nicholas wrapped his arms around Jonas’s waist and held him tightly. “It was just by chance that Phillip and Andre were walking near the pond and heard me yell that day.
    Andre didn’t even hesitate when he dived in to save me.”
    “I don’t understand. That’s a good thing. He saved your life, Nicky.”
    Nicholas squeezed him tighter and buried his face in the side of Jonas’s neck. “He pushed me to the surface, and Phillip hauled me out of the water. Andre never came up, though.” Jonas closed his eyes and sighed while he smoothed his hand up and down his mate’s spine in comfort. “It wasn’t your fault. You were just a kid.”
    “Phillip was never the same after that,” Nicholas continued as though Jonas hadn’t spoken. “He stopped eating, wouldn’t come out of his room, and he barely slept. The day after the funeral, I finally got up enough courage to try to talk to him. I don’t even know what I was going to say. I mean, how do you apologize for killing your brother’s mate?”
    “Stop it. You didn’t kill anyone. It was an accident.” He eased Nicholas away from him and cupped his cheek in his hand. “What happened when you went to talk to your brother?”
    “He said it should have been me.” Nicholas shuddered as he closed his eyes and nuzzled his face into Jonas’s palm.
    “Grief does terrible things to people, Nicky. I’m sure he didn’t mean that.”
    “Phillip blamed me. If it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t have lost Andre. He cursed me so that I’d always be alone, and if I ever claimed a mate, it would kill him or her. Then I’d know how it felt to lose someone I love. You’re right about the grief, though. He never got over losing Andre, and it drove him mad.” Jonas swallowed around the lump in his throat as he watched his mate relive the pain of his past. Nicholas had lost someone he loved that day. It just