sisters.
âWe tried, of course,â she said. âAnd once I did become pregnant, but the baby miscarried at three months. It nearly killed me.â
Again, I didnât know what to say, so once more I said nothing. I just hugged her instead.
âIt was the real reason behind so much unhappiness in our marriage,â she said. âYour father gradually became so bitter that I couldnât have any more babies, stupid man. I suppose it was my bodyâs fault, but I couldnât do anything about it, could I? I tried so hard to make up for it, but . . .â She tailed off.
âOh, Mum,â I said, hugging her tight again. âHow awful.â
âItâs all right,â she said, pulling away from me and turning back towards the stove. âItâs a long time ago, and Iâll overcook these potatoes if I donât get to them now.â
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W e sat at the kitchen table for dinner, and I ate myself to a complete standstill.
I felt bloated, and still my mother was trying to force me to eat more.
âAnother profiterole?â she asked, dangling a heaped spoonful over my plate.
âMum,â I said, âIâm stuffed. I couldnât eat another thing.â
She looked disappointed, but, in fact, I had eaten far more than I would have normally, even in this house. I had tried to please her, but enough was enough. Another mouthful and my stomach might have burst. She, meanwhile, had eaten almost nothing.
Whereas I had plowed my way through half a cow, along with a mountain of potatoes and vegetables, my mother had picked like a bird at a small circle of steak, much of which she had fed to an overweight gray cat that purred against her leg for most of the meal.
âI didnât know youâd acquired a cat,â I said.
âI didnât,â she said. âIt acquired me. One day he just arrived and he has hardly left since.â
I wasnât surprised if she regularly fed it fillet steak.
âHe sometimes goes off for a few days, even a week, but he usually comes back eventually.â
âWhatâs his name?â I asked.
âIâve no idea,â she said. âHe isnât wearing a collar. Heâs a visitor, not a resident.â
Like me, I thought. Just here for a good meal.
âAre you going to the races tomorrow?â she asked.
The April meeting at Cheltenham ran for two days.
âYes, Iâll go for the first few,â I said. âBut I have some work to do here in the morning. I have my computer with me. Can I use your phone and your broadband connection?â
âOf course you can,â she said. âBut what time do you plan to leave? I donât want to rush you away but I have the village historical society outing tomorrow afternoon.â
âThe first race is at two oâclock,â I said. âIâll go around twelve.â
âThen Iâll get you some lunch before you go.â
The thought of yet more food was almost unbearable. And I knew she would have bought the makings of a full English breakfast as well.
âNo thanks, Mum,â I said. âIâm meeting a client there for lunch.â
She looked sideways at me as if to say she knew Iâd just lied to her.
She was right.
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I donât like it, but we have to do as he asks,â said Patrick when I called him at eight in the morning using my motherâs phone in the kitchen. âIâll get Diana on it right away.â Diana was another of his assistants, the one who had just qualified as an IFA. âAre you at Cheltenham again today?â
âYes,â I said. âBut Iâll probably just stay for the first three.â
âTry and have another word with Billy Searle. Get him to see sense.â
âIâll try,â I said. âBut he seemed pretty determined. Scared, even.â
âAll sounds a bit fishy to me,â Patrick said. âBut we are required