turned it over ‘I wouldn’t tell your
mother.’ My hands were shaking; the late bus rolled
up, as I tore the note off and fumbled with the zips to
find my phone. Relieved to find it, I jumped on the
bus, glad to see the driver. I was visibly shaken and
panicked, I fumbled in my bag pockets to pull out a
bus ticket and called mum from my mobile as I sat. I
stared at the sparsely seated adults; they were traveling home from work. I took a shaky breath and noted
the time, feeling disoriented. I’d been trapped against
my will for around two hours and fifteen minutes. I
knew it was a terrifying prank.
The phone began to ring, one, two, three rings -
for once I begged for her to answer, contemplating
what to say in my mind: Mum I’ve been attacked, it’s
okay, mum sorry, I would have called if I could, I’ll be
home soon . I heard the words in my head – I was locked
in a store room - and then failed to say them. She answered, sounding groggy. I knew she’d been asleep.
When I heard her voice my heart lurched.
“Hello?” she croaked.
“Hi mum, it’s me,” I said meekly.
“Lila?”
“Yeah.”
Her voice was raspy. “Did you want me to make
dinner?”
She assumed I was out, having fun.
“No.” I thanked God she was okay.
“Good, I’m tired, I had to work an extra today, are
you coming home soon?”
“I’m on my way,” I said.
“Could you pick up some painkillers? We ran
out.”
“Not now I’m on the bus, can it wait?” I was
annoyed.
“It’s okay we’ll go out later and get some, sorry
baby I’ve got a bad headache, is that it?”
“Yeah…”
“Bye.” She hung up.
I tipped my head back; I don’t know why I was
so surprised.
I told myself the reasons I didn’t tell, I didn’t want
to cause a fuss, that I didn’t want her to have to deal
with me and this right now, not when I wasn’t sure
what had happened, myself. Not after we had just
settled. I was fine, maybe bruised, shaken, but otherwise okay. Nothing seemed real as I reread the note
left on my bag. The bus driver glanced at me in the
revision mirror.
I slumped home in denial. I guess after a hot
shower that was far too long I contemplated never
going back, and then shelved it. There was one person I would need to talk to, one person who used
to know them and had been chewed up and used.
Someone who had tried to warn me. I had ignored
her warning. In my room I re-read the note again.
I remembered my dream in pieces, the one of Sam’s
eyes, blue like ice, flecked with copper and metallic
brown - looking into my face, and of the wild dogs
running in the woods. I needed to talk to Cresida and
I knew where to find her.
I had been locked in the storeroom securely and
long enough to miss practice and released without
harm. I found the yearbook in my room and it fell
open on the page with her photograph. I had looked
it over before, the picture of Cresida’s face. I skipped
through the pages further along to the school portrait photo section, where there was a comments
page and a few words hand-written by students in
pen printed over the page. Amongst others was one
sentence signed by Cres. I matched first the scrawled
note Sam had passed me in class, then the note from
my bag to the handwriting on the page. I was no expert but the scribe matched. Under the photo she
had written the line: ‘ Give peace a chance – Love Cres’ .
One thought occurred to me, was I attacked or was
I protected?
7. Entitled Creatures
I would confront Cresida for the truth; the other
option was to risk my mother’s safety. After what had
happened to me I shuddered to think what would be
done to her, and Sophie was fragile at best.
In anticipation I hesitantly slipped a knife in my
pocket from the kitchen drawer and left without saying goodbye to Sophie.
I found Cresida, sure enough, in a corner of the
library. I didn’t waste any time.
“What are they?” I blurted out as I thrust the
note left for me at