Free You Make Me Feel So Dead by Robert Randisi

maybe twenty-five at the time.’ She stopped. ‘To make a long story short, he convinced me to do some things I didn’t want to do. When we got arrested for stealing, I should have left him, but I couldn’t. I still had nothing of my own. So I stayed. Then I got arrested for … soliciting.’ She lowered her head, and her shoulders slumped. She was totally humiliated.
    â€˜All right,’ I said, ‘it goes without saying that you were not actually soliciting,’ I said. ‘You did not actually do any hooking … did you?’
    Her head came up and she said, ‘I didn’t, I swear, Eddie!’
    â€˜I believe you, Penny,’ I said. ‘Danny would believe you, too.’
    â€˜I know that,’ she said. ‘Danny would never think badly of me.’
    â€˜But you still didn’t want to tell Danny about it.’
    â€˜No,’ she said. ‘He would have killed Billy for sure.’
    I paused when I saw Jerry coming over with her tea. The delicate cup and saucer looked incongruous in Jerry’s huge hands.
    â€˜Here ya go,’ he said, setting it down on the coffee table in front of her. ‘You want some sugar or milk?’
    â€˜Just sugar.’
    He ran to the counter and came back with a sugar bowl. I noticed he had not made a cup for himself, or me.
    â€˜Thanks, Jerry.’
    There were two armchairs that matched the sofa. I was in one, and Jerry settled his bulk into the other.
    She sipped the tea and set it down.
    â€˜Is that OK?’ Jerry asked.
    â€˜It’s wonderful,’ she said, ‘thank you.’
    â€˜Penny.’
    She looked at me.
    â€˜What’s been going on since Billy showed up in Vegas?’ I asked.
    â€˜I’ve been fending him off,’ she said. ‘When I ran into him on the street I thought it was a coincidence.’
    â€˜How long since you had seen him?’
    â€˜Oh … must be ten years.’
    â€˜What happened?’
    â€˜He told me he had changed, gone legit. But his fortunes still hadn’t changed. He was broke.’
    â€˜Did he ask you for money?’
    â€˜Not that first time, but later he called me and asked me to meet him. He was nervous, edgy, and asked me for money.’
    â€˜How much?’
    â€˜Five thousand.’
    â€˜But you didn’t give it to him.’
    â€˜I didn’t have five thousand dollars, Eddie,’ she explained.
    â€˜But you gave him something, right?’
    She looked down, ashamed again.
    â€˜Yes.’
    â€˜How much.’
    â€˜Twelve hundred,’ she said. ‘It was all I had in the bank.’
    â€˜Why did you empty your bank account?’
    â€˜I thought he would go away.’
    â€˜Oh, Penny,’ Jerry said.
    We both looked at him. I’d never heard that soft tone of voice from the big guy before. I can’t even describe it, but it made me look at him.
    â€˜Givin’ him anythin’ just made sure he’d come back,’ Jerry said.
    â€˜I know that now, Jerry.’
    â€˜Why didn’t you just go to Mr G.?’ he asked. ‘He woulda helped you.’
    She looked at me. ‘I knew you’d help me, but … I didn’t want you to think badly of me, either.’
    â€˜So Billy came back for more?’
    â€˜And I told him I didn’t have more, but he didn’t believe me,’ she said. ‘He didn’t want to believe me.’
    â€˜So he kept insisting.’
    â€˜Yes.’
    â€˜And what did you decide to do?’
    â€˜I thought I could get a loan,’ she said, ‘but it would only be one time.’
    â€˜And did he agree to that?’
    â€˜That’s what I was meeting him about,’ she said, ‘only he was dead when I got there.’
    â€˜Did he say anything to you about somebody threatening him?’
    â€˜No,’ she said. ‘He told me he’d gone straight.’
    â€˜But you didn’t really believe him,