is.”
Dan showed no sign of life. Eyes swollen tight, head slumped to a side. McColl nodded to the two men beside him. Toothless held up Dan’s head and tapped his cheek with the baton to bring him around. Blondie unsheathed a buck knife and looked at me to make sure I could see how pleased he was that it was his turn. The two guards at the door came around and held me by each arm.
“Dan, tell us where the money is. Watch. Here’s what we’re going to do to your son.” Another nod. Blondie dragged the knife diagonally across my chest. I growled low, expelling all my breath so that I didn’t scream. Dan’s eyes flickered so I know he saw the cut, but they were all staring at me and didn’t notice him. I stared at McColl and he stared at me and all I was thinking was that every minute he let me live brought him closer to his own death. I never liked killing and I never hated it, either. It was just the way things had to be. It never made me angry or sad. On my first step into the war zone, I accepted that killing was part of living. But this was different. If I lived, I was going to kill McColl as cruelly as I could. And for the first time, I was going to enjoy it. At that instant, I knew this meant a change in me, not for the better, and I did not care, not at all. I was thrilled to find it there. The blood dripped into a puddle at my feet. Toothless slapped Dan again to make him pay attention. He said something like, “Wake up.” McColl turned back to Dan.
“Where’s the money, Dan? Where’s the money?”
“I don’t know,” said Dan.
“You admitted you stole it.”
“I stole it. I never had anything I didn’t steal.” Dan raised his arm slowly. The guards tensed, poised to hit or cut the helpless guyin the chair. Dan turned his face from McColl to me. He pointed at me. “He stole the money.”
McColl shouted, “You stole the money!”
“I stole the money. And he stole it from me. I don’t know where the money is.”
I wanted to growl again, but that would have been the only sound in the room other than the slowing drip of my blood hitting the floor. McColl stared at Dan, and Dan’s head slumped to the side as if the gaze had knocked him out. I had the sense Dan did it to mock him. McColl looked at me for a moment, then nodded to Toothless, who, again, propped up Dan’s head and gave him a slap. McColl wasn’t too quick of a thinker. I could tell that receiving information that did not fit in his tiny compartments made him want to pull the blanket over his head. I didn’t understand Dan’s game, but I knew there was a game being played.
“Let me make sure we understand you, Dan. You’re saying you don’t know where the money is, but your son does. Is that right?”
“I’m sorry, Rollie Boy. I told you not to expect much from me.”
“I’ll try to remember.”
“Answer me, Dan.”
“You have it right.”
McColl had been in command long enough to know he had to respond. He got up and paced over to the window. He looked out for a full minute. The guards stood still, waiting for orders. McColl turned back to the room. He said, “That would mean we don’t need you anymore, Dan. Do you understand that?”
Dan’s head stayed slumped on his shoulder. I gave McColl the blank stare, a taste of his own medicine. Let him try to read me. He ordered the guards to take me back to the cell.
The air refused to enter my lungs. Maybe it was too thick. I sucked hard over and over again but kept needing more. I forced my eyes open and turned to the other cot. Dan lay still. I drifted out again, but the discomfort came from more than the drugs, and I fought back to the surface and rolled off the cot onto the floor. Dan had not moved. I crawled over to him. He wasn’t cold and he wasn’t warm and he wasn’t Dan anymore. I managed to turn away before I vomited. I straightened him up a bit, folded his arms across his chest. I stood up and pounded on the walls for a few minutes and yelled at
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