Free Suicide by Darlene Jacobs Page A

having a rough time of it. Though I don’t know why.”

    H e blushes , “You are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.” After a nervous laugh, he continues, “I’m heading back to campus and I want you to come with me. I’ll show you the sites, take you to a party. Maybe you’ll want to enroll. You certainly have the grades for it.”

    A fter a moment of thought , “Sure,” I said, “Why not.”

    J ake responds , “Great! Your mom has already packed you a bag. I have it in my car. Let’s go.”

    “ N ow ?” I said in a raised voice, a bit surprised at how fast things were progressing. “Why not now?” he asked.” “We can call AAA and have them tow your car back to the house. Cool?”

    “ C ool ,” I said, when I really meant, oh shit. I’ve gone from sixty to zero, back to sixty in the span of thirty minutes. I came here thinking I had nothing left, and now I’m leaving with my stepbrother, a man so damn hot I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.

    A ll I felt towards him was anger and resentment for having it all, which I felt, left me with so little. So why is he being so nice to me now?

    I ’ve never shown him any kindness. In fact, it’s been quite the opposite. I’ve gone out of my way to ignore him, skip his games and eat dinner in my room to avoid him and his father.

    I even left a few nails in the driveway to puncture his tire after he came back home from some A-list beach bonfire. But that backfired. Instead of puncturing his tire, it punctured my moms.

    W e walk to his car , and sure enough I see my suitcase in his back seat. He opens my car door for me. I stand there wondering what the hell he’s doing; wondering if he wanted to get something out the front seat first.

    “ H aven’t you had a man open a car door for you before?” I said no. I’m so used to just climbing in. I had no idea Jake was so damn old-fashioned.

    B ut I have to admit , I like it. I like feeling special.

    I roll down the window and stick my head out; the same way Buttons does it. My wet hair clings to my shoulders. I try to brush it back with my fingers, but I just make more of a mess of things.

    J ake reaches over my lap and brushes past my inner thighs before he opens the glove box. “Look inside,” he tells me. I do and find a comb. I use it to tame my tangled curls.

    “ I ’ve always loved your hair,” Jake confides as we make our way down the road. “The way your curls bounce up and down, reminds me of… never mind.”

    J ake blushes and tries to change the subject. I’ve never seen him embarrassed before.

    B ut now I am curious , “Reminds you of what, Jake?” Jake takes his eyes off the road for a moment as he stares into my eyes with a deep piercing stare; the type of stare that curls your toes and wets your panties. His eyes jump from my chest to my eyes and back again.

    “ R eminds me of how a woman looks when she’s on top of you, straddling you… sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

    I reassure Jake that it’s okay and that I wasn’t offended. In fact, I was aroused. I pictured myself as that woman straddling him as he drove.

    J ake calls me by my name, and it feels like the first time that I’ve heard it. “Sidney…” I had no idea my name could sound so romantic, and flow off the tongue like honey.

    “ S idney , you tried to kill yourself tonight. That is serious. I have no idea if you would have gone through with it or not. But you took the first step. I have no business… I don’t want to take advantage of you or the situation.”

    T ake advantage ? Jake had no idea. If it was not for him, I would not be feeling more alive than I have ever felt before. I had no idea what it was to feel something for a guy; I mean really feel something; a stirring in your soul and bones… until tonight.

    I wanted Jake so bad I oozed estrogen.

    I peeled my shirt collar from my still damp chest in an effort to dry my shirt. At least that is what I