government agents. And a lot of them chose to stay with me.”
She could believe that. Kilmer inspired loyalty without even making the effort. “To do what?”
He shrugged. “To do what I’m hired to do. There’s always use for a well-oiled military machine in this world. I’ve done everything from rescuing kidnapped oil executives in Colombia to ridding the U.S. Army of terrorist snipers in Afghanistan. Nothing much changed when I quit the CIA.”
“Then why did you quit?”
He met her gaze. “The same reason you quit. It all went bad.”
“And you didn’t help.”
“I’m not going to justify myself,” he said quietly. “I did what I had to do. I’m not a miracle man. I had to make a choice.”
“Your choice sucked.” She looked away from him. “It might have killed my father.”
“It didn’t, but there was that possibility. I had to move fast to save the four other men on my team who we had to leave at El Tariq that night. Your father was in Tangiers. I wouldn’t have had time to reach him before Marvot could set up a trap.”
“And you didn’t let me go to him.” Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “You knocked me out and then locked me in that damn cellar. I didn’t ask for your help. I didn’t need you. I could have reached my father on my own.”
“Marvot would have been waiting for you. I sent your father a warning just in case I was wrong. He didn’t leave Tangiers. Does that tell you anything?”
“Maybe he didn’t get the warning.”
“He got it.” Kilmer shook his head. “But he didn’t need a warning. He knew what had happened at El Tariq.”
“He
didn’t
know. He was the one who told the CIA about Marvot in the beginning. He got me the job at El Tariq. It wasn’t his fault that Marvot was tipped off.”
“I’ve told you before. Your father tipped him off, Grace.”
“No, that’s a lie. He wouldn’t do that. He knew I was there. He loved me.”
Kilmer didn’t answer.
“He
loved
me,” she repeated.
“Maybe he thought he could get you out before the sky fell in. But we were moving very fast toward the end of the mission.” He shrugged. “We’ve gone through this before. You didn’t believe me then. You won’t believe me now. So let’s put it behind us and deal with what’s happening. You need me to protect Frankie, and I have the means and the willingness to do it. Let me help you.”
She tried to control the anger and sense of betrayal those memories had brought flooding back. She jerkily shook her head. “I can do it myself.” She gazed across the stable yard at Frankie and Robert. “I have to get over there. Frankie doesn’t look too upset, thank God.”
“She’s very close to him?”
She started across the yard. “Yes.”
“Close to you too?”
She glanced at him over her shoulder. “What?”
“Do you sleep with him?”
She stopped. “That’s none of your business.”
“I know. It doesn’t seem to make any difference.”
His tone was quiet, but it was charged with all the intensity she remembered.
Oh, my God, and her body was readying, responding, as if their intimacy had been yesterday instead of nine years ago.
No!
“It won’t matter what I feel, Grace,” he said. “You’ll be totally in control if you decide to trust me to take care of the problem.”
She’d never been in control with him. He’d only had to touch her and she’d melt. That sexual attraction had bewildered and frightened her. At first, she’d thought it was just hero worship but it had become like a drug in those following weeks, totally out of control.
It couldn’t be the same feeling. She was older now and she had every reason not to feel anything but anger and bitterness toward him.
His smile held a slight element of sadness. “It doesn’t seem to make any difference to you either, does it? Don’t feel bad. Hormones have nothing to do with cool logical thinking.” He turned away. “I’ll be close to your motel tonight.