Free In Two Weeks (NY State Trooper Series) by Jen Talty

“It’s time, Jared. It’s been too long to hold onto this kind of pain.” Her soft lips pressed against his unshaven cheek, and melted away some of the heartache.
    “I can’t.” He shifted her legs to the side, then rested his head on her firm, flat stomach. Wrapping his arms around her, he closed his eyes. “I didn’t know how hard it would be.”
    “Lisa made it hard,” Ryan whispered, running her fingers across his buzz cut.
    “I didn’t make it easy for her.”
    “That’s not true.”
    He tilted his head and caught her tear-filled gaze. “You were just a kid back then. What do you know?” He had wanted to push her away both back then and now, but for some godforsaken reason, she never left.
    “Lisa didn’t love you.”
    “You don’t know the whole story.” He dropped his chin down, slipping his hand under her shirt and across her warm skin. She gave him comfort and offered so much more.
    “Stop making excuses for her. She took off, plain and simple.”
    “I pushed her away, and then Johnny died.”
    “He died of SIDS,” she whispered, holding him tight. “You couldn’t have known that would happen, and it would have happened whether or not Lisa had stayed.” Ryan tugged at his head, forcing him to lock teary gazes with her.
    “Had I been a better father, I would’ve known what was going on.”
    “Why do you do this to yourself?”
    He let out a long breath. “I can’t be a godfather to Pat’s baby. I need you to tell him that.”
    “Yes, you can.” Her loving eyes pierced deep into his soul. “Loving someone doesn’t kill them.”
    But if you don’t love, you don’t get hurt. That had been his motto since Lisa ran out. He still had love in his life. He loved his parents and sister. He didn’t need anything else. “I can’t help the way I feel.”
    Her breath hitched when he traced a path with his finger where her low-cut shirt met her soft, supple skin. “You can try,” she whispered. “It means a lot to Pat.”
    Staring down at her perfectly shaped breasts, he moistened his lips and kissed the exposed skin. She tasted like honey. He continued to lose himself in her. Her hands splayed across his shoulders, neck, and back, easing the tension built up by years of not letting anyone know he cared.
    He cupped her breast over her thin shirt, pinching the hard nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Her fingers dug into his back as she let out a passionate moan. Kissing his way to her luscious mouth, he gently bit down on her lower lip.
    Her eyes fluttered open, and he searched them for a reason to stop. But all he found was a woman who knew exactly what she wanted, and she wanted him.
    His heart beat so fast it drowned out the world around him. He sucked in a quick gasp when her tongue darted out to meet his. A low rumble coming from deep in his throat rippled out in a groan of desire.
    With trembling hands, he clasped his fingers around her tiny wrists, and in desperation pried his lips from hers. She stared back at him, a hint of fear looming behind her glossy blue eyes.
    “Ryan.” He sucked in a ragged breath.
    “Don’t tell me you want to stop.”
    He shook his head. “I don’t want to use you. At least a bottle of Jack Daniels doesn’t have any feelings I’d have to worry about.”
    “You need to let yourself feel something other than anger and self-loathing.” She swiped at a single tear that rolled down her cheek. “You’re not the only one who lost someone.”
    “I don’t want you to reduce yourself to a one night stand because you feel sorry for me.”
    “I don’t pity you. I feel empathy for you.” Anger flashed in her eyes. “But if you’d prefer getting drunk to spending the night with me, someone who cares very deeply for you, well, I’ll just go collect my things and go to my brother’s. I won’t hang out here and watch you slowly destroy yourself.”
    For a long moment she glared at him, not saying anything. He opened his mouth, but no sound