Free Forever Blue by Abby Wilder Page A

when a crumb flew across to land on Cara's top. Cara simply picked it up and popped it into her mouth, and the thought of something passing from my mouth to hers thrilled me.
    I had been in love with Cara Armistead for as long as I could remember. One of the things I loved about her was that she didn't care whether she was considered beautiful. Not because the thought had never entered her head, but because she wouldn't care, even if it did. I suppose if you gave someone her photo, they wouldn't find all that much beauty. Well, not in the way that beauty is splashed across the magazines. She had long hair that reached down to her waist, a mouth that was a little too big for her face, a nose that was a little too small, and she was skinny. Not runway model skinny, tomboy skinny. Overall, she almost came across as awkward. But to believe that was all she was would have been stupidity. It would be like comparing a still image to an entire movie. She was a blank canvas, and it was what she did with it that made her beautiful. The way she smiled. The way her eyes widened when I spoke, making me believe there was no one else she would rather be listening to. The way she walked as though she didn't have a care in the world but still knew where she was heading. She had a thousand expressions and I loved every one.
    There was only one problem with my infatuation with Cara. She was in love with Ruben. He denied it, of course. And I had never actually plucked up the courage to ask, because I was too afraid of the answer. Cara and I were best friends, we did everything together, but I knew I was only the consolation prize while she waited for Ruben. She used me to get closer to him. I knew this. I just didn't care.
    Cara walked over and plucked the darts from the board. It was strange being around her again. She was so familiar, such a big part of my life, but as she stood in front of me, I found myself nervous. I didn't know how to talk to her anymore. She had become a stranger. Even her posture was different. She held herself a little taller.
    "Want a game?" she asked.
    I nodded and took the offered darts. Cara took the first turn, slicing the dart into the wall around the board. She groaned and swore. "Guess I'm a little rusty." She turned and stood to the side, allowing me a clear line of access to the board.
    "Round the clock?" I asked.
    "Like it's going to matter," she replied.
    I let the first dart fly, hitting the wedge of the first number. I grinned, and she rolled her eyes.
    "The Fairlane looks good," she said when my next dart sunk into the second number.
    "It's a work in progress. Your dad's been a big help."
    "He always liked you."
    There were a million questions I wanted to ask, the main one being, why hadn't she called? According to Ruben, she had been home an entire week. The Cara of before would have never waited that long to call, even if it were only a guise meant to check up on Ruben, but I voiced only one. "So, what's it like being home again?"
    Cara turned, letting her head fall back against the wall and rolled her eyes. "Delightful." She punched my arm lightly, just before I was about to throw. "It's good to see you, though. I missed you."
    "Really?" I asked, twisting around to look at her and letting the dart hover in my fingers. Then I wished I hadn't. I sounded desperate.
    "Of course." She punched my arm again and drank the beer down past the neck. "I missed you and Ruben terribly," she said after swallowing.
    Me and Ruben. Ruben. "Terribly?" I said weakly and threw the next dart, hitting a number that wasn't in sequence. It seemed that desperate was the theme of the words coming out of my mouth. I laughed, but even that managed to sound desperate as well. Something had changed between us. Something was there that wasn't before she left for boarding school. I hoped it was just time and distance.
    "Terribly," she said with mock severity, ripping the darts off the board and taking aim. "But then again, I was at an