Free Forever Blue by Abby Wilder

Beautiful and terrifying.
    I was sitting on the swing at the playground down by the lake. It was deserted, apart from Judah and me. We were alone in the moonlight, and it was raining. The swing creaked as I rocked back and forth and waves gently licked the stones.
    Judah's skin was pale, shimmering iridescently in the dim light of the moon. As he breathed, puffs of air swirled into the darkness.
    "Come to me."
    I stood and walked towards him, the swing swaying with my departure. He smiled, and I put my hand in his.
    "You are beautiful."
    I believed him. In that moment, in the dark recesses of my dream, I was the most beautiful girl in the world. He pulled me to him until our bodies pressed close together. He let my hand slip from his and stroked my face. Our breath mingled as a vapour in the night.
    Slowly, he moved his lips towards mine, but it was an eternity before we touched. My heart swelled. My chest felt like it was going to explode. His lips were cold and sent shivers down my spine. Rain splattered on my cheek. His hands pressed against my back, pulling me closer and closer until the pressure began to bubble as panic.
    I couldn't breathe.
    I tried to pull away, but he held onto me, his lips locked on mine.
    My desperation was real. I was powerless to escape, and the thing that scared me the most was that I didn't want to. Darkness invaded, pulling me deeper and deeper into his kiss. My chest constricted. I needed to breathe, but I was powerless.
    Then, I woke, gasping for air.
    The curtain fluttered in the breeze again, and I sat up, wrapped the sheet tight to my chest and willed my heart to stop pounding.  Suddenly cold, I got up and pulled the window shut.

Chapter Nine
     
    Judah - the previous year
     
     
    My brother was perfect. You would think that would mean I was too, considering we were twins, but nothing could be further from the truth. Ruben was popular. Ruben was talented. Ruben was loved. Somehow, he managed to walk the fine line of a studious head boy while still maintaining his image of popularity. Dad never saw him in a drunken stupor or acting like the arrogant fool he was, and even if he did, I'm sure it would have been twisted in some way to be my fault. Everything was my fault. But it wasn't any of those things that had me worried. It was the way Cara's eyes were searching out his in the reflection of the rear vision mirror. Was he waving his magical spell of perfection around her, too? Surely Cara, of all people, could see through his façade.
    As soon as we walked into the old hall, Ruben was hailed with cheers and drinks were shoved into his hands. Our fellow school mates hung off his every word, as though somehow his perfection would rub off on them. His ever-present posse of friends clung to his side. Pretty boy blondie, brawn for brains, and chipmunk. Or, as they were more commonly known as; Ross, Stuart, and Alex. Ruben waved me over, but I slunk to a room off the side which had a pool table and a dartboard. There were a few people crowded around the pool table, and in the corner, a table was covered with mini pies and bowls of chips and dip.
    At parties I felt lost. It struck me as weird to simply exist in a group for no other reason than to drink alcohol. I needed something to do, something to keep my mind occupied, so I chose to eat. I was midway through stuffing my face with one of the pies when Cara walked in, an empty beer bottle swinging from her fingers.
    "Have you seen Ruben?" she asked. Of course the first words out of her mouth, when we were alone, would be to ask about Ruben. She reached into the pocket of her jacket and extracted another bottle of beer, twisting the cap off and throwing it at the dartboard.
    "Nope." I covered my mouth with my hand to stop crumbs from flying out as I spoke.
    Cara looked over the selection of food on offer and shoved a whole pie into her mouth. Her cheeks bulged as she attempted to chew without letting any escape. I chuckled and was mortified