Free Since Forever Ago by Olivia Besse

killing me.”
    “Ooh, let’s go to brunch!” Audrey chirped in response, prompting both of her roommates to glare at her in aggravation. “Mimosas are what you need, not darkness!”
    “I like darkness,” Riley protested in a tiny voice as Audrey proceeded to lift her upright.
    “Did you finish the entire bottle?” Audrey gasped in surprise as she picked up and shook the empty bottle of tequila. “Just the two of you?”
    “Impressive, huh?” Riley asked with a lazy smile before letting out a yawn.
    “Very,” Audrey said with a shudder. “I can’t even have three shots of tequila without blacking out!”
    “Well, we never said we didn’t black out,” Liz told her, letting out a tired laugh. “I can’t even remember what we did after we finished binge watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians .”
    “I don’t even remember watching the Kardashians,” Riley said with a frown.
    “Maybe bottomless mimosas will refresh your memories,” Audrey suggested, gesturing for both of them to go into their rooms and get ready. “And hurry, because I’m starving!”
    After drowning their parched throats in cold water and knocking back a few painkillers, Riley and Liz managed to drag their asses to their rooms and change into clothing that didn’t feature elasticized waistbands. “Is it just me, or is Audrey especially hateable this morning?” Liz hissed to Riley as they lifelessly sat hunched on the hallway floor together, using all of the energy left inside of their upper arms to halfheartedly brush their teeth. “Not just you,” Riley mumbled through a mouth full of foam. “Not just you.”
    “You’re having nachos for breakfast?” Audrey asked once they had finally made it outdoors, wrinkling her nose at the greasy mess that the waitress had set down in front of Riley.
    “Don’t judge me right now,” Riley flatly replied, shoveling an entire forkful of guacamole into her mouth before looking down at Liz’s salad in distaste. Didn’t Liz know that the “five servings of vegetables” rule didn’t apply when one was hungover?
    “I just got a really weird voicemail from Henry,” Liz said with a frown, setting her phone down onto the table. “‘You know I don’t like it when you drink so much. I’m really thrown off by your behavior. Is there something we should talk about?’ I don’t have any outgoing calls in my call log, so it’s not like I drunk dialed him. Riley, what did we do last night?”
    Riley merely shrugged, staring at Liz with a blank expression. “Hell if I know.”
    “It should be illegal for emotionally unstable women to purchase alcohol,” Audrey said with a shake of her head. “There should be, like, a two-week probationary period following any messy breakup.”
    “‘Is there something we should talk about,’” Liz repeated with a scoff before angrily biting into a piece of zucchini. “Of course there’s something we should talk about, you asshole! The fact that you’re a cheating bastard, that’s what!”
    “I thought he doesn’t know that you know yet,” Riley said, scrunching her face in confusion.
    “He doesn’t,” Liz confirmed, picking her phone up again and perusing for clues. “Or, at least, I don’t think he does.”
    “Then why would he say all of that to you?” Audrey curiously asked. “That’s so random.”
    Liz’s mouth slowly dropped open as she stared at something on her screen, prompting both of her friends to exchange an inquisitive look.
    “Riley,” Liz slowly began. “What the hell happened last night?”
    “For the hundredth time, I have absolutely no idea,” Riley muttered as she bit into a soggy, cheese-smothered chip. “I don’t even have any recollection of watching TV, remember?”
    “Oh, God,” Liz groaned out miserably. “Oh my God, I’m an idiot.”
    “Don’t say that ,” Audrey brightly replied. “You’re actually very smart—”
    “Look at this!” Liz shrieked out, turning her phone around and shoving