Free Starstruck - Book Two by Gemma Brooks

climbed under the covers, I had to
call Hudson. I owed him an explanation. I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to go
back to LA or not, but I wanted to talk to him. I owed it to him to give him
the benefit of the doubt.
     
    Hudson picked up in the middle of the first ring.
     
    “Brynn,” he slurred. “Brynn, what’s going on?”
     
    He was drunk out of his mind, and it had only been an hour
or so since we last talked. Hudson was never really a big drinker. He had to
have been more upset than I’d realized.
     
    “I’m sorry I ended our conversation so abruptly earlier,” I
said.
     
    “Brynn,” he slurred again.
     
    I wasn’t sure if I should have a conversation with him. I
wanted him to be coherent and to remember what we were going to talk about.
     
    “You’re drunk, Hudson,” I sighed.
     
    “No, I’m not,” he slurred again.
     
    “Yes,” I said, annoyed. “Yes, you are. I’m going to let you
go and talk to you tomorrow when you’re a little more clearheaded.”
     
    “No,” he said. “Don’t let me go, Brynn.”
     
    I sighed. I couldn’t hang up on him again. Who knew what
self-destructive measures he would take then? The last thing I wanted was for
him to drink himself into a coma.
     
    “I was looking forward to seeing you tonight,” he said. His
words washed over me like smooth silk and I instantly remembered why I fell for
him. “I had flowers for you. And Flor made this amazing dinner for us. I
couldn’t wait to get my hands all over you.”
     
    His words tickled my spine. I just wished he wasn’t drunk
out of his mind.
     
    “And tomorrow,” he said. “Tomorrow I was going to fly us to
Cabo for a few days. I wanted to take you away from here for a little getaway
before I left for my next shoot. Just you and me and the sand and the waves and
Coronas and really amazing Mexican food. And you in a bikini.”
     
    Good to know he still had a way with words even in a drunken
stupor.
     
    “Please come back, Brynn,” he said. “I need you. I can’t be
without you.”
     
    Hudson was fighting for me. Maybe he did cheat on me. Maybe
he didn’t. I’d never know. All I knew was that he was fighting for me. He
wasn’t giving up. Not yet.
     
    “I love the idea of being with you,” I said. “But the
reality of it is hard, Hudson. You understand that, right?”
     
    He sighed a long, drunk, exasperated sigh into the other end
of the phone.
     
    “So you only do things that are easy for you?” he slurred.
“Is that the kind of person you are?”
     
    “No,” I said, quickly realizing he was pretty spot on.
     
    “It’s not going to be easy being in a relationship with me,”
he slurred. “But I promise to make it worth it.”
     
    “That all sounds great,” I said. “In theory.”
     
    “God damn it, Brynn,” he heaved. “I can’t win with you.”
     
    My mother’s words echoed in my head. He wanted to be with
me. He was a man worth fighting for. I didn’t understand my resistance. One on
hand, I wanted to be with him. Sometimes I wanted him so bad it hurt. But on
the other hand, I didn’t want to get hurt. Hudson had the potential to hurt me.
Badly.
     
    I wanted to be with Hudson, but the truth was, I was scared.
I was scared to have an amazing life with him and have it all pulled out from
underneath me. I was scared that someone prettier or more together or more
decisive might come along and sweep him off his feet. I was scared he’d leave
me in the dust if things got too familiar or boring.
     
    I clearly wasn’t capable of making good decisions. I
couldn’t win at this stupid game of life no matter what I did.
     
    “Let me think about it,” I told him. “It’s late here. I need
to go to bed.”
     
    Hudson sighed. I knew he didn’t want to let me go.
     
    “Don’t drink anymore, okay?” I pleaded. “Please just sober
up a bit and get to bed. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”
     
    “Fine,” he said. “Please, Brynn. Just reconsider this thing
we