Free Futile Flame by Sam Stone Page A

servants. I was a mother and I feared for my children. So, battered, bruised and afraid, I learnt to please him. I learnt to be his whore whenever and however he wanted and the cruelty of his sex games began. Even so, I adapted. I survived. That’s what women do in these circumstances.
    ‘Get the robe off,’ he ordered one night after staggering in drunk.
    I hated him, but did as he said and I lay on my bed as he took me.
    ‘Kiss me.’
    Even though I complied he beat me because I hadn’t kissed him like I meant it.
    ‘Tell me you love me,’ he slurred. I willingly accepted the blows. No amount of torture could make me say those words to him. I hated him so much.
    It wasn’t long before I fell pregnant with my final child. Needless to say, the baby was not my husband’s. At first Caesare was angry, a pregnancy might spoil his pleasure; but as the months wore on, he softened a little to me. The beatings stopped. He gave instructions for the servants to ensure I ate properly at all times.
    ‘Why do you care?’ I asked once, risking his wrath.
    ‘It’s my child in there. Don’t delude yourself that I’m being kind to you for your sake.’ He sneered. ‘I’m thinking only of my child.’
    His possessive interest in the baby frightened me. As my belly grew, sometimes he lay in bed with his head resting on me feeling the movement of the child inside. He made me lie naked as he gazed in wonder at my stomach as it twitched. Often in the night he curled up beside me and slept, a contented expression curling his lips. The contempt and rage disappeared from his face. I was reminded of our teenage years and the love that I had briefly experienced with him.
    ‘Pregnancy softens you,’ Caesare commented. ‘You have been more loving towards me. More genuine in your affection.’
    It appeared to be true. It was easier to pretend when he was kind. Even so I dreaded the birth; I feared the return of the violent side of his nature.
    During the final days of my confinement, Caesare, now certain of his ultimate control over us, left to go to Rome on business. The household had not been free of him for almost a year. It was a huge relief. Even the servants changed. Within an hour of him leaving I acted. Calling my loyal servants to me I made immediate arrangements for the removal of my children. I feared for them constantly and reasoned that the new baby might be a little safer as Caesare was, at least, the father. His behaviour so far made me believe there was a chance that he would be a good father to it.
    Finally Alfonso helped. He too had been biding his time. He took the children away to stay with a distant relative. I did not even know where they were. Although I felt this was for the best; Caesare couldn’t beat it from me then. If I promised to stay with him, be his mistress, give him all that he wanted, then surely he would not feel the need to go after my children.
    ‘I’m sorry,’ Alfonso said as I stood beside the carriage. ‘I betrayed you. I’ve been such a coward. But I’ll be back with the right kind of help, once the children are safe.’
    ‘I know. Caesare is intimidating. Alfonso, please tell me. What did he do to you?’
    Alfonso flushed, hung his head. It was so bad that my husband could not even bring himself to say. I reached out, lifted his chin and looked into his shame-filled eyes.
    ‘He did to you what men do to women sometimes,’ I said.
    Alfonso’s eyes filled with tears as he nodded. ‘And he threatened to do the same to our children.’
    ‘Oh my God!’
    I fell silent. It was bad enough to realise that my brother had raped my husband, but the thought that he had threatened the same for our children turned my stomach. A shooting pain rushed up through my body and my belly spasmed.
    ‘Why not come with us?’ Alfonso begged.
    ‘Because he will definitely hunt me down. This ends here. Besides, the pains have started. The baby is on the way.’
    Alfonso hugged me. I pushed him away, into