Free Ride On by Stephen J. Martin Page B

information.’
    â€˜Thanks Garda.’
    â€˜He mentioned that he used to give your name out to girls? I’m afraid I had to stop listening when he was explaining why.’
    â€˜Yeah. Well he doesn’t do it any more. I told him to stop. Anyway, we’re both kind of well-known now, so there wouldn’t be much point.’
    â€˜Right. Well, just in case, you be a little careful yourself. It’s possible that the …’ She paused to get the right words. ‘ … utterly demented … girl that has a fixation on him might find her way to you by accident.’
    â€˜Jesus, I never thought of that. I still don’t even know what happened.’
    â€˜They can tell you upstairs. But, again, no need to panic. I’m sure we’ll be able to deal with this quickly and quietly.’
    â€˜I really appreciate this Garda. Thanks for coming out today.’
    â€˜No problem at all. And best of luck with the new album. I hear it’s coming out soon?’
    â€˜Oh yeah. Thanks. Couple of weeks.’
    â€˜I’ll be sure to pick up a copy.’
    â€˜Great.’
    Jimmy came back up the stairs to find the others all sitting around the coffee table looking at him.
    â€˜So, will someone tell me what the fuck is going on?’ said Jimmy.
    Dónal picked up the empty cups and started bringing them into the kitchen.
    â€˜It seems that one of the girls this dirty little bastard has been sniffing around didn’t appreciate the way she was treated either during or after the liason,’ he said.
    â€˜A tenner says it was after,’ said Aesop.
    â€˜Aesop, there were two Gardaí in here a minute ago,’ said Jimmy. ‘This is not the best time for you to be fucking about.’
    â€˜Yeah. I don’t think Garda Ní Mhurchú liked me. The head on him.’
    Jimmy frowned at him.
    â€˜What?’
    â€˜What?’
    â€˜Aesop, you do know that Garda Ní Mhurchú was a woman, don’t you?’
    â€˜What? Get fucked.’
    â€˜Aesop, she was a girl!’
    â€˜She was not. Why do you think that?’
    â€˜Well, her fucking name for starters.’
    â€˜What are you on about? It’s just Mhurchú. Murphy, right?’
    â€˜It’s Ní Mhurchú! Ní is what women use in Irish.’
    â€˜Me bollocks! And anyway, why didn’t she call herself Ban Garda Ní Mhurchú then, if she’s a woman?’
    â€˜Because they don’t do that any more. They’re all just Garda.’
    â€˜But … Jimmy, did you not see the fucking awful-looking mess of a face on it … it couldn’t have been …’
    â€˜Okay. It doesn’t matter. Whatever. Will you tell me …’
    â€˜She was a bit short for a bloke copper all right, but I thought that was just because she was standing next to that big long lanky streak of piss she came in with. But she’d no make-up on or anything.’
    â€˜She’s a fuckin’ copper, Aesop, not a bleedin’ Avon lady. And anyway, I think she might have been … eh …’
    â€˜Been what?’
    â€˜Y’know …’
    â€˜A short fat bloke?’
    â€˜No. A lesbian.’
    Aesop roared laughing.
    â€˜No fucking way, Jimmy. I’ve seen hundreds of lesbians, and they don’t look like that.’
    â€˜What? That’s exactly the way they look. For fuck sake, sorry for ruining your favourite fantasy, Aesop, but lesbians aren’t all six foot tall with long blonde hair, big tits and red lipstick.’
    â€˜Of course they are! Jimmy, come around to the flat afterwards and I’ll stick on some …’
    â€˜Aesop. First of all, fuck off. I just want to know why two cops were here today and no fucker’s told me yet. What the fuck is going on? And second of all, I promise you the girls in your videos are doing it for money, not for love. Real lesbians probably laugh their bollocks off at that stuff. So