Free Who We Were by Christy Sloat Page B

save her, but I couldn’t. She kept dying over and over in my arms.
    I showered and dressed, keeping my clothes simple today. I didn’t feel like impressing Nash, or anyone for that matter. I actually wanted to skip school today. If I didn’t need the credits, I’d quit the whole class altogether. But alas, I needed them. I wanted to graduate early, especially now that there was nothing at school worth staying for. The only reason I dressed, showered, and ate my measly breakfast was because I would only be at school a half day next year. If I quit now, I’d be there the whole day. The thought that this was a means to an end fueled me. And I realized as I washed my bowl, this was the end of my need to be around Lily. I had relied on her for all of these years. Now, I would only rely on myself. Sure, I’d be friendless, but maybe that was how it was meant to be.
    The more I thought about what she said, the more I realized she had been holding those thoughts inside of her for a long time. She meant what she said. She thought I was cold and that I was dragging her down. No need to worry about that any longer, I wouldn’t stand in her way, and she could go as high on the social ladder as she wanted.
    I pulled into the school and realized that I was late. I must have really taken my time on the drive over because I left the house on time. I got out of my car and hauled butt to class. I pulled open the door and everyone’s eyes fell on me. It was ridiculous to think that they all knew about my fight with Lily, but I couldn’t help it.
    “Are you okay today, Miss Peters?” Mrs. Bentley asked me, seeming concerned. Did it really show that I wasn’t feeling myself? I wondered.
    “Uh … yeah. Sorry I’m late.”
    I sat in my chair, and Kyleigh smiled at me. She knew why I looked the way I did; she witnessed it. I could tell by the sympathy in her eyes that she felt for me. I wished she didn’t see me fight with Lily, but was happy she was there afterwards. She’d hugged me and let me cry. Kyleigh was sweet and everything you look for in a friend, but I couldn’t get close to her. I couldn’t really trust anyone yet. If this was what a breakup was like, I didn’t ever want a boyfriend.
    Mrs. Bentley went into her discussion with us about Dorian’s relationship with Sybil, and I zoned out. I stared at her and got lost in thought. I started thinking about all of my stuff that was still at Lily’s house. I had several outfits there and shoes, and even some of my favorite books I had lent her. I wanted it all back. She left a few things at my house too, but I’d pack it up and mail it to her. There would be no break. We were done.
    “Hey.”
    I looked up and was met with Nolan’s brown eyes. He looked at me with compassion, just like Kyleigh did. Did he know?
    “Hey, back,” I said turning away from him.
    “How come every time I see you, you’re sad?”
    I looked back up at him and saw he was sincere.
    “I’m not always sad. I’m not sad today either,” I whispered. Mrs. Bentley had left the classroom, and I didn’t even notice.
    Nolan didn’t fall for my lie, instead he pursued. “You look sad … like your dog died.”
    I didn’t mean to laugh, but I did. I know your dog dying wasn’t funny, but I wish that was my problem―at least I would know how to get over something like that. Breaking up with your lifelong friend was like a death in a way.
    “My dog didn’t die ... I mean, I don’t have a dog.” I was rambling. “Look , Nolan, I just am having a bad day. I’m not trying to be rude.”
    He laughed and leaned back in his seat. He stuck his pen in his mouth and chewed on the tip … he had perfect teeth. I broke my stare and looked down at the blank desk.
    “Hey,” he said tapping me on the shoulder. “You’re not rude. I’m sorry for what I said to you the other day.”
    He was apologizing for his comment about Nash. I nodded not knowing what to say. Maybe I was wrong about Nolan. Maybe