Free Who We Were by Christy Sloat Page A

if I remember correctly.”
    I shook my head and stood.
    “Not the same thing, Lily. Nash wasn’t sleeping with you.” I tried to keep my voice down but I couldn’t. Thankfully the lake was full of screaming kids by now and no one could overhear our conversation.
    “You’re just jealous! You’re mad because I have a boyfriend and you don’t. Like always, no one’s into you. Nash doesn’t want you and you’re mad.”
    I stepped back, her words hitting me in the heart. I couldn’t believe she would think that. I couldn’t believe my best friend was saying this to me.
    “Like always? What is that supposed to mean?”
    “It means that no one likes you at our school and no one likes you at Alcott either. Just because you’re at a different school doesn’t mean you change. You’re still the same cold Sadie and the boys all know it.” She pulled her towel up and flung the sand into my face. I didn’t even feel it.
    “I’m not jealous. I’m not cold,” I whispered. Kyleigh stood behind me now with her hand on my shoulder for support.
    “You are jealous! And if you didn’t take me to the hospital, I wouldn’t have a curfew now. My parents wouldn’t know I drank so much. It’s all your fault,” she yelled.
    “My fault? I guess I should have let you die on the ground then,” I screamed at her.
    She laughed. “You’re always so dramatic, Sadie. I was fine. Oliver told me I was. He said you got all crazy and called the cops for no reason. I was just drunk.” Is that what he told her? I would kill him!
    “Yeah, you were totally fine. Because puking in your hair and your eyes rolling back into your head is totally normal,” Kyleigh chimed in.
    Lily swung her bag over her shoulder and said, “Who the hell are you anyway, Kyleigh? Huh? You’ve known her a minute? Just wait, she’ll drag you down with her. She’s constantly trying to change herself into something she’s not, and you’ll get tired of her soon just like me. I need a break from you, Sadie,” she said now facing me. “Don’t call me.”
    “Don’t worry, I won’t. And I won’t miss you either. I don’t need your drunk ass around!” She pulled out her cell, dialed a number, and asked for a ride, no doubt from her precious Oliver.
    She flipped me off as she stormed away toward the little diner across the street. Once she was out of sight, I fell into the sand.
    ** *
    I found myself sitting in my room all the rest of the evening, crying. Yeah I was mad as hell at Lily, but more so hurt. I wouldn’t lie and say that it didn’t affect me or that her words weren’t like tiny daggers. Was she right? Was Nash not into me because I was cold? I’d never thought about it that way before. Now that my best friend, the girl who knew me best, told me this, I assumed it to be true. No one knows you better than your bestie, right?
    Was I jealous of her and Oliver? I knew that answer, no. I wasn’t jealous of her. Worried? Yes. I was worried for her. Lily had never been the one to go out to parties or hook up with boys she hardly knew. But now that I thought about it, how much had she been hiding from me? Kyleigh told me she saw Lily drink like a pro.
    I threw my book across the room in frustration. How much of Lily’s life was she hiding from me? Would I ever find out?
    I got up and picked my book up off the ground. I dove into the next few chapters as a distraction. Instead of a distraction, I found myself comparing Dorian Gray to Oliver Kasen. I hated Dorian Gray now. I hated all that he stood for and all that he was, the way he treated his fiancée’ and the way he thought of himself. I didn’t care that he was a fictional character.
    I threw the book again and turned out my light.

 
     
    Ten
     
    The next morning was like waking up after only two hours of sleep. I’d actually slept for more than twelve hours, but felt exhausted. I dreamt of Lily all night, her dying in the grass while Nash and Oliver laughed at her. I kept trying to