Free Empire's End by Jerry Jenkins, James S. MacDonald

that if He was not going to kill me, then either teach me or tell me what to do. But if I had learned nothing else, I knew I didn’t want to be the reason for His silence. Over my many years as an expert in the Law, I had grown so frustrated at my inability to elicit any response to all my prayers that there were seasons when I wondered even whether God existed.
    Well, now I had no doubts, but neither did I want to be the cause when our conversations stopped.
    I raised my head and dried my eyes, taking comfort in the fact that Alastor had said God told him he was to leave me alone in the mornings because I was to ply my trade in the afternoons. That meant I was not to be out here all day. If I was gone too long, wouldn’t the old man worry and come searching for me?
    When you return, water your horse thoroughly and loose him
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    Deep sadness swept over me, and I wanted to ask the obvious, but I dared not. I would not see Theo again, would not be responsible for him. God would take care of him, I knew, and in the process, take care of me and my debt as well. I would cling to that in my grief over seeing the horse leave.
    But surely He had not led me all the way out here for only that word. Unquestionably, to Him that was just a detail He wanted out of the way first. Whenever He spoke to me anew I was thrilled afresh, and it didn’t matter if it was about things that seemed trifling to Him or about preaching the gospel to the ends of the earth. Nothing could be unimportant to God.
    The gentlest of midday breezes cooled the sweat of my brow, and Ishivered. I turned to face the sun, which forced my eyes shut, and still sitting cross-legged, I opened my hands, palms up, in my lap.
    In a unique and most mysterious manner, I was able to distinguish the Father’s voice from the Son’s. As I sat motionless, the sun bathing me now, Jesus Himself spoke to the depths of my soul.
    The truth you will preach will not be according to man, for you neither received it from a man, nor were you taught it. It came to you when I revealed Myself to you
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    It pleased My Father, who separated you from your mother’s womb and called you through His grace, to reveal Me in you, that you might preach Me among the Gentiles. Resist the temptation to confer with flesh and blood or to seek out My apostles, but remain here until My Father has taught you and equipped you to carry My gospel to every creature. For you have been saved and called with a holy calling, not according to your works, but according to His own purpose and grace that were given to you in Me before the creation of the world
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    For as long as I lived I would never cease to be amazed at the eternality of God’s plan. How puny I felt in the face of His majesty and how I longed to be used in any way to advance His kingdom.
    Many will turn from idols to serve the living God and to wait for Me, whom He raised from the dead
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    I could not stop the tears from coming again.
May it be so, may it be so
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    God has approved you, entrusted you with the gospel, and He will test your heart. Never resort to flattery, telling men what they want to hear or seeking their glory. You will be My apostle to the Jew and the Gentile, but never make demands as one of status. But be gentle and affectionate, imparting to all not only the gospel, but also your own life so you become dear to them. In this way you will be remembered and beloved, toiling night and day that you not become a burden to any
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    Remain devout and just and blameless, acting uprightly among those who believe. Exhort and comfort and charge all, as a father does his children, that they walk worthy of God who calls them into His kingdom
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    How I knew my time with the Lord had ended for that day I cannot say, but I knew. It was not as if His Spirit lifted from me, for I felt so full of Him I could have floated across that wasteland and back to the encampment. Rather I slowly stood atop the rocky plateau and turned in a