Free Belle Moral: A Natural History by Ann-marie MacDonald

where it is from.
    D R R EID . Yes.
    P EARL . And you will take me there. To the village on the Caucasian steppes.
    D R R EID . I will take you to the ends of the earth. As man and wife.
    A beat
.
    P EARL . Seamus … 
[suddenly]
What’s that smell? F LORA . What smell?
    P EARL . It’s an overpowering stench of … paint.
[Covers her mouth.]
    D R R EID . Pearl –
    P EARL . I’m fine. I felt a bit queasy this morning, but I’m better now.
    F LORA . Queasy?
    D R R EID . This morning?
    F LORA . Is it your woman’s time?
    P EARL . Flora! I’m perfectly fine, [as
though suddenly recovered]
in fact I’m longing for luncheon.
    F LORA . Wee Farleigh’s fixed a lovely … French thing.
    W EE F ARLEIGH
exits
.
    P EARL . Winkles.
    F LORA . Winkles?
    P EARL . I must have them, tell Wee Farleigh – or no, I’ll tell him myself.
    P EARL
exits
.
    F LORA . What’s the matter with the lass? Queasy one moment, craving winkles the next, it’s almost as though she were … Seamus, you haven’t!
    D R R EID . of course not, Flora.
    F LORA . Then …?
    D R R EID . It is just possible that Pearl is exhibiting early signs of a psychosomatic ailment.
    F LORA… . How did she catch it?
    D R R EID . Dear Flora. There is every reason to hope that Pearl’s symptoms will disappear once she is wed, and at last free from the shadow of her well-intentioned father.
[Taking her hand.]
I’m sorry if I was hard on you, old friend. I must be cruel to be kind.
    F LORA . Seamus, how do you aim to keep your promise?
    D R R EID . What promise?
    F LORA . You said you’d show her where you got the ear.
    D R R EID . Pearl can be made to know what, without having to know who.
    D R R EID
exits
. F LORA
peers at the painting. Sniffs the air. Exits
. V ICTOR
rolls over. The scene changes around him. Walls dissolve. Sound of the sea, a woman singing “Au Claire de La Lune”
. T HE B RIDE
appears. She
is pregnant. They don’t speak, but we hear their voices as ambient sound
.
    T HE B RIDE . Look what I found at the top of the Caucasian steps.
    V ICTOR . Aonaibh ri cheile.
    T HE B RIDE . I would, but it’s too blurry.
    Sound of a woman crying. The full moon rises
. T HE B RIDE
turns her head and lifts her veil to reveal a Jackal ear
. P UPPY
whimpers from off. The silhouette of
T HE J ACKAL
appears in the family portrait, accompanied by the drone of a bagpipe
.
Scene 6 The Drawing Room
    Next morning
. P EARL
lies, dishevelled on the couch, a cold cloth on her forehead
. V ICTOR
enters, pristine and jaunty, in travelling clothes
.
    V ICTOR . Well, I’m off. Goodbye, Pearl.
    P EARL . Victor –
[moving to sit up, but finding it advisable not to]
.
    V ICTOR . You look like you’re about to upthrow, shall I fetch a bucket?
    P EARL . Don’t you dare go off down to the pub again, you’re terribly ill. Tell Wee Farleigh to bring me a basket of brioches. And a pickled egg.
    V ICTOR . Don’t worry, Pearl, I’m not off down the pub, I’m just off. I’m leaving.
[calling off]
Wee Far –
    P EARL . Shush – wait – what? Why?
    V ICTOR . I’ve a good deal of work that needs avoiding. I may even begin not-writing my novel.
    P EARL . You can do that here. We’ll make you a garret as drafty and uncomfortable as you like.
    V ICTOR . My mind’s made up.
    P EARL . You’re not planning to leap into the sea, Victor, promise me –
    V ICTOR
[jovial]
. I’m not deep enough for despair, Pearl, the most I can muster is a cheerful self-loathing. I promise to kill myself very, very slowly.
    P EARL . You’ll need money, if you wait a few weeks I’ll be able to –
    V ICTOR . Thanks, but I’m a boyishly handsome, shite-talking Scotsman with a well-endowed mythopoetical faculty. A mirror for the folly of others, a delightful extra man at table. There’s always men willing to stand me drinks, and women … well I’m no’ proud of it.
    P EARL . What about your phobia? What if you run into a dog?
    V ICTOR . I’m not convinced it’s the dogs,