Free STRANGE SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY OMNIBUS by Benson Grayson

softly at the designated landing spot. After examining their instruments, the crew determined that the atmosphere of Earth would not sustain them outside the ship and that they would be obliged to conduct their examination of the surface protected by spacesuits.
    All of the crew wished to walk personally on the surface of the Earth. This was not possible due to the limited time available before they would be obliged to blast off on the return journey to Ganymede as well as to the limited number of spacesuits on the ship. They drew straws, and the three lucky winners donned their suits and stepped outside by means of the airlock.
    What they found was sand, nothing but sand. It appeared to extend as far as they eye could see in all directions. Because the gravity of the earth was about seven times that on Ganymede, they found walking any length almost impossible. After covering a distance of a quarter of a mile and finding no signs of life, vegetable or animal, and nothing but sand, they decided they had to return to the ship. Back on board, they reported their disappointing findings to the others. There was no doubt. Earth contained no life. What had been mistakenly concluded to be such signs was obviously due to natural phenomena.
    When the ship returned to Ganymede, the findings of the expedition were accepted. The most powerful telescopes were shifted away from observing Earth to Mars, where several scientists claimed they had detected canals. The defense firms, for their part, were extremely gratified with the results of the mission. Through clever lobbying, they obtained government funding for a program to construct a vehicle that a future expedition to Mars could use to explore the surface of the planet rather than having to do so on foot.
    It is hard to know what fate would have had in store for either the inhabitants of Ganymede or the Earth of the mission had landed in another location. Fortunately or unfortunately, the spot where it set down was in the middle of the Sahara Desert.

MONKEY BUSINESS
    When Amos Hitherto, President of the Amalgamated Atheists’ Society, resolved to disprove the existence of God scientifically, he threw all of his considerable energy into the project. Unhampered as he was by any feelings of religion, ethics, or morals, he had amassed a considerable fortune. This enabled him to allocate whatever funds were necessary.
    Letherton’s plan was to replicate the story he had heard about the lack of any divine involvement in the writing of Holy Scripture. He would do this by proving the assertion that a monkey, typing blindly in the cellar of the British Museum would, after many eons, type out a complete, perfect rendition of the King James Bible. Naturally, the choice of the right monkey was important. After considerable research into the subject, Letherton selected a young male chimpanzee named James who appeared to be unusually bright.
    James was put at a desk, given a manual typewriter, and shown how to hit the keys with his fingers. There he was obliged to sit, typing away, for twelve hours a day, with only fifteen minutes off for lunch. When the animal rights group learned of this treatment and protested, Hitherto reluctantly agreed to permit James a fifteen minute break, even volunteering to furnish James, free of charge, a moderate sized banana at each break.
    James’s efforts produced tons and tons of foolscap covered with gibberish. The floor of the room was eternally covered with discarded paper. Several times, Letherton thought he was on the brink of success. On one occasion, the researcher, who was supervising the project on a day to day basis, rushed to him with a triumphant cry, informing him that the monkey had typed a reasonably correct copy of an O’Henry short story. Convinced that he was on the right track and that James would soon produce the King James Bible, Letherton redoubled his efforts. As an inducement to speed James on, he increased the size of the bananas provided