Free Heart's Duo (Ugly Eternity #4) by Charity Parkerson

but Hawke’s low chuckle kept his feet glued to the floor. Hawke sat forward, setting his elbows on his knees and focusing on Joss.
    “Our dad used to tell us that anything worth having was worth fighting for. When I met Maddox, I took that advice too much to heart.” A wry smile twisted Hawke’s lips, fascinating Joss. Even Sophie seemed incapable of looking away. “The harder he tried to push me, the further I dug in my heels determined to stay. I thought, damn, he has to be the one if I’ve had to work this hard to keep him.” Hawke shook his head. “I was wrong, but I didn’t realize how much so until Jamie.”
    Joss wanted him to stop. Seriously. “You don’t have to do this.” Hawke had a way of looking at people. There wasn’t a doubt in Joss’ mind it was one of the biggest reasons Jamie had fallen for him. When Hawke focused on someone, he saw them—all the way to their soul. Joss felt laid bare. The desire to run away was epic, but oddly, he couldn’t.
    “Yes. I do. You’re punishing yourself and you shouldn’t. Things are so easy with Jamie—simple. He loves me and if I work for it, I don’t feel like I do. Obviously, I would do anything to make him happy because for real, he’s my whole world, but it’s a haven, not a hell. Being with Maddox was nothing but exhausting highs and lows. That’s not real life. People can’t live that way forever. The forever kind of love is steady and comfortable. You’d kill to keep it, but the fight is external, not internal. The battle is supposed to be against the world not each other. It’s supposed to for each other. If Maddox had loved me, for real and forever, he would’ve given anything for me—even it meant losing you. He wasn’t willing to give up you.” Hawke sat back and crossed his arms over his chest as if satisfied his point was made. “I’ve always known why even if you don’t or he doesn’t.” Hawke released the footstool, kicking his heels up and settling back in. “On second thought, you should go home. You should be with Maddox on Christmas.”
    Sometime during Hawke’s speech, Sophie had turned her head away. With her attention locked on the opposite wall, she couldn’t have screamed louder that she didn’t want to hear whatever was being said. Joss couldn’t let this go on. For all Hawke’s reassurance that Joss had no reason to be sorry, he did. Going down on his haunches, he touched her knee, forcing her to either meet his gaze or tell him to fuck off. When she turned her head, he wished it was the latter. For every ounce of forgiveness Hawke offered, Sophie obviously held twice the anger. He wished he knew some magic words to fix everything, but life didn’t work that way. Nothing would ever be to everyone’s satisfaction.
    “For the record, I disagree.” Joss almost laughed at Sophie’s announcement. She couldn’t be kept down. “I think you’re a total douche for bailing on your brother the day before Christmas when he barely has a free moment as it is. He could’ve chosen to take his holiday and spend every second alone with his husband, but instead he included us. You’re a selfish ass.”
    In spite of her insults, Joss couldn’t stop smiling. “You can’t stop being the controlling and judgmental older sister who knows best for one single second, can you?” She visibly clenched her teeth as if determined to prove him wrong. “I like it. Did you know I’m the older twin by two minutes? To most people, that might seem beside the point, but I’ve always known I was the older brother. I did love you, by the way.” She was grinding her teeth to a pulp. He could see it. It only spurred him on. “I’m sorry for being me. Even I wouldn’t wish me on anyone.” Sophie blinked, making him wonder if she was fighting back tears. They wouldn’t fall. Just like everything else, she held those with an iron grip as well. He respected her more than anyone he’d ever met. “For the record,” he said, using