Free A DEATH TO DIE FOR by Geoffrey Wilding

also affected by Helen’s outpouring as he stood upright and turned his head away.
     
    After a while Helen was able to regain some composure, she reached for a tissue to dab at her eyes and wipe her nose, she apologised to the consultant who almost seemed slightly embarrassed, he replied saying that she had absolutely no need to apologise and that he wished that he could give us better news.
     
    Helen and I just sat looking at each other holding hands, there were things that needed to be said but as a couple we instinctively knew that this was not the time, the consultant  was at pains to say that as far as he could tell the situation had not changed however he would like to try and determine more accurately the extent and actual makeup of the tumour.
     
    He said that he would like me to have an MIR scan but that he had already checked and because it was close to the weekend all the lists were full so he had arranged for me to have it done on Monday morning so that the results would be available for his next visit he also said that he wanted to test the fluid in my spinal column for cancer cells and that he would arrange for me to have a lumber puncture which would be carried out later today. 
     
    After he left, Helen and I agreed that if the consultant was still looking for more detail then possibly he might just come up with a different outcome so our mood lifted a little, Helen asked whether I had tried the over bed TV yet and when I said that I hadn’t been really bothered she persuaded me to have a go, so I took my place on the bed and between us we spent a distracted 15-20 minutes working out where the card went, where to plug in the earphones and how the controls worked, it was the first time I had used a flat screen TV and I was impressed with the quality of the picture.
     
    Just then there was a knock at the door and Bill arrived, I switched the TV off and removed the headphones, Helen said she could do with a cup of tea asked him if he would like her to fetch a cup for him, Bill accepted her offer and as Helen left the room he came and sat in the chair next to the bed.
     
    Bill was in his late seventies and I knew him to be a very caring person, he reached over and took my hand, he said that he was very fond of both me and Helen and had been terribly upset when Helen had phoned him and told him of the situation, with tears in his eyes and a quavering voice he said that he had contacted a good number of the Lodge Brethren since Helen’s call and they had all asked him to pass on their prayers and sympathy for us both and some had also sent more personal messages which Bill repeated.
     
    When Helen returned she found us both upset from our discussing what things might have been, as Helen handed him the vending machine cup Bill cleared his throat and thanked her and after he had taken a couple of sips he was more his old self again, we then spent some time reminiscing about the times we had spent together particularly one time on the golf course when Helen had come for a walk while Bill and I hacked our way round, we all agreed that it had been a much happier time.
     
    Eventually though the conversation ran dry and Bill said that he needed to go as he still had a lot of preparation for his big night a week next Monday and with that he wished us both an emotional farewell as I don’t think he was contemplating making another visit.
     
    Once Bill had left I think that it was the first time that Helen and I really realised the numbers of people beyond our own close family and friends that would be effected by my demise.
     
    The rest of the afternoon past with the hospital operating around us in its usual almost automated fashion with nurses moving to and forth attending to patients and creating the background hubbub of busy people, the time came when Helen had to make the move home for Jim, it was a particularly hard time for him at the moment as he was in the final stages of his A level education,