Free Vigil by V. J. Chambers

about him after she’d spent so much time training herself not to?
    And I didn’t want that to happen to me.
    Of course, Darlene never got a chance at real love. Barclay stole it from her.
    Darlene aside, I was developing feelings for Vigil. Because of the sex. It hadn’t helped that he’d been so tender afterward, almost as if I’d tamed him by fucking him. I thought of the way he’d held me while I interviewed him, of his lips on the top of my head. Of his telling me I was lovely.
    Damn it.
    And the sex…
    Well, the sex had been phenomenal. It wasn’t a prerequisite to my falling for a guy that I banged that the sex be good. I’d been head over heels for the guy in high school, and we’d had pretty much the worst sex of all time.
    Vigil and I, however, had been explosively connected. I didn’t know how to describe how amazing our coupling had been.
    But just like that boy in high school, the one who hadn’t mattered, Vigil wasn’t right for me, and I knew it.
    There was no future in banging a guy in a costume, no matter how perfectly his cock fit inside me or how easily he’d made me come.
    I couldn’t go on a date with him.
    He couldn’t be my boyfriend.
    There was no future in any of it. All I could hope for was fantastically sexy interludes.
    I had to admit I was excited at the prospect. I wanted him. I didn’t know if I’d ever wanted someone so badly.
    But I couldn’t be satisfied with a man who occasionally crawled through my window at night for some raw footage. I needed more from someone if I was going to be having sex with him. And Vigil couldn’t give me more. Wouldn’t give me more.
    Which meant that I was on a path to disaster.
    I could see the future, and in it, I was going to be devastated. He was going to hurt me. He was going to shred my heart.
    I needed to stop it somehow. I needed to take an exit somewhere, turn around and head back to safety and rationalism.
    But I also knew I wasn’t going to do that. He had too deep of an effect on me. I was helpless against him.
    * * *
    “So, you had company last night.” Airenne raised a wicked eyebrow over her coffee mug.
    I felt my face go hot. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that Vigil and I were making noise. Maybe too much noise. “Oh my god, I’m sorry.”
    She laughed. “Don’t worry about it. I only caught the tail end of it. You did wake me up, though. Who’s this mystery guy? He wasn’t here when you went to bed. Did you get a late night booty call?”
    “Something like that,” I said. “He’s, um, no one.”
    She set down her mug on the counter and reached for a granola bar. “I want a no one like that. You gotta at least tell me where you found him.”
    I had to lie. I couldn’t tell her what was actually going on. I had to keep it a secret. So, where could I say I met a guy? The bar? What would Airenne think of me if she thought I brought random guys home from the bar? “Uh, I met him through work. While I was working on the Vigil story.”
    She looked disappointed. “I never meet guys through work. Unless they’re gay. It’s the only downside of working for a fashion magazine.”
    I raised my eyebrows. “Did my ears deceive me, or did you just admit that Bold! was a fashion magazine?” She generally said that the term was derogatory and dismissive.
    “Shut up,” she said. “You want coffee? I’ll make you some if you want.”
    “I’ll get some at work.” I grabbed a banana from the hanging basket next to the refrigerator. “Are these my bananas or yours?”
    “Yours,” she said. “I don’t buy bananas, because there’s only one day where they’re actually at the perfect ripened stage. The rest of the time, they’re either hard and green or squishy and black.”
    She had a point. The one I was holding was heading into squishy territory. “But they’re so portable.”
    She laughed.
    “I’m really sorry I was loud,” I said.
    “Oh please. Whenever I get laid, I’m going to be twice that