Free The Pastor's Wife by Diane Fanning

of time created additional strain.
    To complicate her life even further, soon after they moved into their new home, Matthew invited his college roommate, Glenn Jones and his wife, Brandy, to live with them while construction took place on their house next door. Four adults and two children crowded the Winklers’ small home.
    Mary wasn’t the only one under the gun. Matthew felt driven by an intense, self-imposed pressure to further his career, to have his own church, to be something more than a youth minister. It was a matter of living up to his father’s example, as well as earning a sufficient salary to support his growing family.
    Committed to monogamy and the sanctity of marriage,Matthew also discovered an uncomfortable fact—he and Mary were sexually incompatible. Matthew wanted to experiment. Mary was more traditional. When they were outside of the bedroom discussing various practices, Mary spoke her mind about acts that she did not want to do—that she didn’t feel were natural.
    Matthew agreed not to do anything that made her uncomfortable during sex but in the throes of passion, he often went back on his word. Nonetheless, Mary said that if she pushed him away or even made the smallest involuntary flinch, he always backed off. However, on those occasions that she gave no indication that she wanted him to stop, he continued.
    Later, they rehashed the problem. Mary re-stated her objections. Matthew once again agreed to abstain from practices she didn’t like—and then he’d lose sight of it in the heat of the moment. It was a never-ending cycle of disparate desires and expectations.
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    A scary event rocked the Winkler home in the spring of 2001. Matthew had tooth trouble and his dentist prescribed pain medication. The drug did not interact well with Matthew’s system, and it resulted in ugly side effects. Matthew grew paranoid, convinced that someone—perhaps Mary—was out to kill him. He threatened to cut her brake lines. Then, in a fit of rage, he picked up a recliner and tossed it on its side. Mary called Matt’s younger brother Jacob, but he was a thirty- to forty-minute drive away. Matt was ranting and raving, and Mary knew something had to be done immediately.
    She slipped out of the house and heard Matthew lock the door behind her. With curlers in her hair, she ran across lawns to Glenn and Brandy’s home. Brandy said Mary arrived laughing about Matt’s behavior. Mary would say that she was ashamed by Matt and was “blowing it off” for the sake of her own pride.
    The Joneses had a spare key to the Winklers’ home. Glenn grabbed it and walked back over with Mary. He unlocked the door, ready to confront a violent Matthew. By the time they arrived, though, Matt’s rage had dissipated and he was stumbling around in a daze. Jacob arrived a short while later. Both men spent the night watching over Matthew, making sure he would be okay.
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    Mary said that her husband was angry and threatening during their years in Pegram, but, she insisted, he was never physically violent with her—that didn’t happen, she said, until they moved to McMinnville. Still, years later, Mary recalled McMinnville with great fondness, but described Pegram as a “hard place.”

Chapter 11
    Matthew believed he’d made an advancement in his career when he secured a position as youth minister at the Central Church of Christ in McMinnville, Tennessee, in 2002. When he applied for the job, a church elder informed him that they expected he’d step up to the pulpit minister position when their current preacher left in two or three years. Matthew accepted the offer with his eye on the ultimate prize—one day in the near future, having his own church.
    McMinnville, heralded as the Nursery Capital of the World for its vast plant and tree industry, and hometown of country and western star Dottie West, had a population of more than 13,000 when