Free Angst by Victoria Sawyer Page A

cheerleaders with pom poms
and finally another tall thin girl rushes by staring at her cell phone in a
tight reddish-orange tube dress that says Solo Cup on the front and “wanna play
flip cup?” on the back. She does a double take at us and finally yells, “Hey,
Kayla” as we pass, asking where we’ll be later.
    “ATO, betch,” Kayla yells back as the girl waves.
    “There will be so many fucking hot guys tonight,” says
Hannah as she’s momentarily distracted by a guy walking by in a tight football
costume. She shivers in her slinky white dress, a coat thrown over her
shoulders, in the chilly October weather. “See, that was just a preview,
girls,” she says smiling over her shoulder at me and Kayla.
    “I’m so f-in excited,” I say, already feeling a slight buzz
from the lemonade. “This will be my first frat party!”
    “No shit, Victoria!!” says no-nonsense Kayla, who’s dressed
up as a cowgirl, her plaid button up shirt opened to just below her breasts
showing plenty of tanned skin, her auburn hair in pig tails. She’s got an added
slutty costume bonus, the words “I ride the big ones” scrawled on her chest in
magic marker. “I can’t believe you haven’t been to one before! We’re gonna have
to show you a good time tonight at ATO.”
    “Hells yes, and they’ll be dancing too, we’re gonna shake
our asses!” says Hannah.
    “Plus beer and hard alcohol and I hear that it ‘always snows
at ATO’,” says dark haired pixie cut Celeste, pulling on the strap of her
bright orange halter top that goes with her 80’s hooker costume, “We’re going
to initiate you, you betch!”
    “Oh shit, I really hope that hot guy I made out with last
week is there tonight. I think he’s a brother,” says Kayla with a grin. “I want
to get in his pants soooo bad. Maybe he’ll let me ride his big one, if I’m a
good girl,” she says with a loud laugh. “Oh yeah…and it always does snow at
ATO,” she replies with a wink.
    “You’re such a boozy, drugged out skank,” says Hannah, point
blank, pretending to be totally serious and Kayla laughs again with a smile.
    “What does ‘it always snows at ATO’ mean,” I ask, clearly
I’m not up on the frat lingo yet.
    “It means they always have coke somewhere in that place,”
says Kayla, totally matter of fact. Ok, then, sounds rowdy .
    “You know, it’s like, ’their balls are always blue at Sigma
Nu,’” she says with another loud laugh, “Those guys are not attractive, poor
fucking sods.”
    We’re nearing downtown and the frat now and can hear the
music thumping, the bass beat moving through the ground, gaining strength, and
people are already crowding the path and porch to the front door of the large,
brightly lit, brick house.
    “I love this song,” I say feeling looser by the minute as my
hips start to sway to the music. This is going to be a fun night. Tonight I can
pretend that I’m normal, that I don’t have a problem that haunts my every
waking decision. And maybe, just maybe, I can find some hot man to grind myself
on.
    We wait in the line for a few minutes and finally climb the
steps to meet a frat brother at the door who checks us over before admitting
us. It seems that we make the cut and he points to where we need to go inside
the old house.
    As we walk through the front door, two clearly drunk guys
start to whoop and cat call as soon as they see us, eyes roving over my
scandalous bustier top and tiny skirt and Hannah’s slinky tight white dress.
    “Oh yeah, sexy devil and angel,” says one guy from
underneath a pimp’s fedora. “I’d like to get in between you two sexy bitches.”
    Hannah and I smile at each other and walk down the hallway
toward the door to the basement, strutting like we own the world. As we pass
the different rooms, all stuffed with party-goers, I notice that the frat is… disgusting .
It’s dirty, trash everywhere, but no one seems to mind because there’s a shit
ton of alcohol flowing.