Free The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod: Twelfth Grade Kills by Heather Brewer Page B

hate the idea of losing you again. But what’s worse is that I hate you for being gone in the first place. I hate you for not telling me where you were and that you were okay. I hate you for endangering my life, Nelly’s life, and Otis’s life with your lies. And I hate you for letting Mom die, for not protecting her. I hate you”. Vlad crossed the room and gripped the doorknob. It was only then that he realized that his hands were shaking. Before stepping out the door, he whispered, because it was all he could bear to do. “But the worst part is that I hate myself for hating you.”
    Vlad stepped outside. He wasn’t sure where he was going, he only knew that wherever it was, it had to be away from here, away from his dad, away from the pain that had seeped into his chest, into his soul. He had no idea what had come over him. He’d forgiven his father for being gone, and was so undeniably happy to have him back. He had no explanation for the barbs on his tongue. Except ...
    Except for the fact that he didn’t want to lose his dad again. Not after everything he’d been through.
    “Mahlyenki Dyavol . . .” Vikas’s words followed him out the door and hung in the night. Vikas came too, grabbing Vlad’s shoulder gently, stopping his escape. But Vlad knew what he was going to say. He was going to tell Vlad that he was wrong, to urge him to apologize.
    Vlad bit his tongue for a moment before speaking. “Nothing you can say will take away how I feel, Vikas. So don’t bother.”
    Both were quiet for a long time. Then, just as Vlad had lifted his foot to step off the porch, Vikas spoke again. Calmly. Almost serenely. “Did it ever occur to you what it must have been like for your father? He lost his wife and his son and all of Elysia in one day. In one fell swoop, he lost all sense of family—and was forced to keep his distance from his only son, in order to protect him, not knowing if it really would. Can you imagine the pain that he’s experienced? We’ve all been through a lot since that day, Vladimir. But who has suffered more? You had the love of Nelly and then later, Otis. I had Elysia. Your father had no one. No one and nothing to quiet the ache in his heart.”
    Vlad released a shuddered breath. Selfish—that’s what he’d been. Vikas was right. He’d had it bad, but Tomas ... he’d had it far worse. At least Vlad had a family in Nelly and Otis. At least he had Elysia with Vikas and the other vampires, if only for a moment.
    Vikas squeezed his shoulder, urging him inside. “Come, Mahlyenki Dyavol. I believe the guilt that Tomas feels for leaving you is punishment enough for his wrongdoing. Don’t you?”
    With sagging shoulders, Vlad moved back into the house, where Tomas was waiting.
    Tomas was still sitting at the table, his eyes lowered, his expression subdued. He waited a moment, pausing, as if to form just the right words in the forefront of his mind. Once he had them, he spoke, his voice soft, soothing. “You didn’t give me a chance to respond.”
    Of course Vlad didn’t. Giving him that chance would’ve opened Vlad up to more heartache, and he wasn’t exactly in the mood. He had no choice now but to listen. Because Vikas was right. Vlad was pushing away the father who he loved, who he’d missed for so long. And all because he was scared to death of losing him all over again.
    A pensive look crossed Tomas’s face. One full of meaning, and regret. “Perhaps you should hate me.”
    A soft breeze blew through the open window, rustling the drapes. It was the only sound until his dad spoke again.
    “I like to think that I left Elysia to protect your mother, and that I left Bathory to protect you, but the truth, Vlad—the real truth—is that I was afraid, am afraid, and it is because of my fear, my cowardice, that your mother is gone and your life is in continuous danger. I can’t deny it. I can’t take it back. But I am more sorry for my cowardice than you could ever believe, more filled