Free An-Ya and Her Diary by Diane René Christian Page A

that is labeled—International Food.
    While Wanna searched the International Food shelves, I looked inside the ice cream parlor. I saw Levi and Lex sitting on the red stools. They were laughing about something, and Jazz was holding her arms on her hips and frowning at them. I didn’t want them to see me, so I went back in the market to find Wanna. But I guess they saw me anyhow, because before I knew it Levi was standing next to me.
    He said—
    Your hair is really shiny today.
    I said—
    Is that a bad thing?
    He said—
    No. Not at all. It is a really good thing.
    And then he smiled that amazing smile that makes my ears burn. He asked me to come into the ice cream parlor, but I said no. I told him I needed to stay with Wanna and do some stuff at home. Luckily he didn’t ask me what stuff. He told me that he would catch me later and said goodbye.
    We left the market after Wanna found substitutes for the ingredients that the market didn’t carry.
    Later in the evening she began cooking. The house filled with incredible smells as Wanna heated up sesame seed oil. I stood next to her and mashed the ginger root. It seemed strange to me that the smell of Chinese food was unfamiliar. We didn’t eat food like that in the orphanage. There was no soy sauce or snow peas.
    During dinner Wanna told us all about the things she learned from her cookbook. She talked about the ingredients and a little bit about the history of Chinese cooking. It was all interesting and even Daddy asked a lot of questions—most of which Wanna didn’t know the answers to yet. Wanna and Daddy seemed happy—it was the way they were looking at each other. I haven’t seen them look at each other that way in a long time. Ellie slurped her noodles and kept saying— yuummmm . It really was delicious and I felt a little bit happy too.
    I helped Wanna clean up, and she kissed me on the head. I smiled at her and she smiled an even bigger smile back.
    Everything was good and then I went to take a shower.
    I am too upset to write about it now. Maybe tomorrow.
    108
    Dear Penny,
    Last night I went to take a shower. It felt good to stand under the warm spray of water, and I stayed in the shower for a long time. I like the smell of the shampoo Wanna gave me to use. It is a melon scent, and the smell stays in my hair for a long time after it dries. I was having such a good time in the shower that I started humming a little and was surprised by how nice my voice sounded inside the bathtub.
    After my shower I wrapped a towel around my body and one towel around my hair and headed back to my room to get my pajamas.
    When I got to my bedroom door, I saw Ellie’s back and she was sitting on my floor. I asked her what she was doing, and she didn’t answer me. She was holding a rag, and I couldn’t tell what was under the rag. I asked her what was under the rag and she wouldn’t answer. She looked up at me and started to cry.
    I started to get mad and said—
    What is under the rag, Ellie? Lift up the stupid rag and show me.
    She wouldn’t move. Ellie just held her hands over the rag and stared at me, crying.
    Finally I yanked the rag out of her hands.
    And I found you.
    There you were with grape juice on your page from Ellie’s sippy cup.
    Before I knew what happened, my hand flew across Ellie’s cheek and hit her hard. She screamed so loud that Wanna was there before I could blink. I didn’t realize that, as I was slapping Ellie, my towel fell off, and I was standing there naked. You were on the ground. You were open and stained. Ellie kept screaming.
    Ellie’s cheek was bright red, and Wanna scooped her up and took her away, leaving me standing naked and alone.
    I picked up my towel and wrapped it around me. I picked you up and crawled into bed and hid under the covers. I didn’t know if I wanted Wanna to come back for me or if I wanted to be left alone forever.
    109
    Dear Penny,
    Why did She leave me? Why did She leave me? Why did She leave me? Why did She leave