Free Saving Abby by Steena Holmes Page A

stared up into the blue sky. Obviously, Millie had something she needed to get off her chest. Once she was done, then Claire would share the news.
    Who knew it would be so hard to get a word in?
    “Yes, he was a lost cause when it came to making his own dinner. Thankfully, Josh isn’t like that. He’ll fend for himself just fine.” There was a satisfied tone in Millie’s voice, and Claire looked over at her.
    “Josh is pretty amazing.” So amazing that he actually suspected she could be pregnant before she did. Since when did a man know first?
    Millie’s head cocked to the side and she reached across the table to hold Claire’s hand.
    “Isn’t it funny how our bodies work?” Millie said. “No matter how hard we try or how much we want something, until our body is ready, there’s really nothing we can do about it.”
    Claire wouldn’t quite let herself believe she was pregnant. Not completely. After everything that had happened in her life, Claire had the nagging feeling that maybe she didn’t deserve to have all her dreams come true.
    All because of one decision, one mistake that she would always regret.
    “So now you want to be a grandmother?” The words just came out, unbidden and unprovoked.
    At the look of horror on her mother’s face, Claire stopped herself from going further down that road. “I’m sorry. That didn’t come out right.”
    “Oh, honey, I . . .”
    In that moment, before a veil descended over Millie’s eyes, Claire became hopeful. Maybe, for the first time in years, they’d actually talk about what happened.
    But Claire should have known better.
    “It’s easy to look back and realize the mistakes we made and wish we could do things differently. I regret a lot of things, but there isn’t much I would change, other than that time in your life. But then, you know that already. This isn’t news to you.” There was a sadness to Millie’s voice, the regret so obvious.
    Claire put on a bright and cheery smile, pushing everything she wanted to say back into the tiny little box full of memories that her mother never wanted to deal with. “I know.” She closed her eyes and let the soft breeze dance over her skin. This was not turning out the way she thought it would. She expected Millie to be ecstatic, over the moon . . . but this . . . this didn’t feel right.
    “Mom, I—” Claire decided to try again.
    “I think I might go work in your garden a little.” Millie interrupted her. “Those roses need some pruning.”
    Before Claire could say another word, Millie walked away. But not before Claire noticed her mother wiping away tears.
    The guilt that remained whenever she tried to talk about what happened to her as a teenager was right there. It was always right there, as if waiting for the perfect moment to crash into her life and destroy anything worth holding on to.
    Today was supposed to be about this miracle inside of her, but instead, Claire had made it about her past.
    Why couldn’t she let go and move on? Why?
    If she could turn back the clock and have a do-over, she would do it in a heartbeat.
    She would never have sneaked out of the house after being grounded by her father, or hitchhiked into town to hang out with friends at the beach for the first bonfire of the season.
    She would never have stayed by the campfire after all her girlfriends had gone home, or continued to drink beer with guys from school. She would never have let herself get drunk.
    There were a lot of things she would never do again, but if she could go back to that day and stay in her room, like the good girl she was supposed to have been . . . she couldn’t even imagine how different her life might have turned out.
    Her mother had been the one to realize she was pregnant. Claire had assumed she missed her period due to final exams and the pressure from her father to get perfect scores. But Millie knew better.
    Her father had been furious when he found out. He refused to be the father with