Free Crazy Maybe by A. D. Justice Page A

first hug.  One of the cousins bumps Luke with his elbow and Brandon sweeps in while Luke’s distracted.  I laugh and hug Brandon until Luke realizes what’s happened and pushes Brandon aside.  Luke wraps his arms around me for a hug, whispers in my ear, “You are beautiful,” and kisses me on the cheek.  I can feel my face heat up as I reply “Thank you,” because I don’t know what else to say.
    Later, we say goodbye to Gran and Gramps, the aunts, uncles and cousins until all that’s left is Luke’s immediate family.  I walk to the back yard to start gathering the leftover dishes and start cleaning up.  I’d never leave Luke’s mom to do all this alone, especially after she was the one who made so much of the food for us.  After a few trips back and forth with loaded arms, I deliver the last load to the kitchen and walk back out to gather the garbage. 
    The outdoor string lantern lights are lit, casting a soft glow across the yard and the lights are twinkling off the water in the pool.  It would be romantic if I had a boyfriend to share it with, but I only have a guy who is a friend, and who is still in the house.  I stop for a minute just to take in the whole backyard landscaping, getting ideas for my own yard, when I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around me from behind.
    “Penny for your thoughts?” Luke murmurs in my ear.
    Dodge and deflect activated again.  He hasn’t said it yet and he’s not going to trick me into saying it first.  “I’ve had a great time tonight with your whole family.  Thank you for bringing me, Luke.”
    “My whole family is in love with you, Andi.  I’ve had to fight them off the whole time just so I can keep you for myself.” 
    His words are so sweet and I could read between the lines if I really wanted to, but I’m sticking to listening to his actual words and his actions.  Until he says it and shows it, we are only friends and I will hold him to meaning exactly what he says – no double meanings accepted.
    “Your family is great, Luke.  And they are all so proud of you and what you’re doing.”
    With that, he turns me to face him before he speaks again.  “The only reason they’re so proud of me now is because of you, Andi.  Because of what you told them about boxing and what you told them about me.  They see me through your eyes now.  You have no idea how much that means to me.  How much I appreciate you standing up for me like you did today.”
    I’m so overcome with emotion, I can’t speak.  I knew he needed someone to believe in him, but I saw firsthand today how he’s been alone in his dream.  Much like I’ve been alone in my life.  I reach up and gently stroke his jaw with my hand and he leans his cheek into my hand.  His eyes hold mine and even though I want – I desperately want – to read his feelings through his eyes, it could very well be only gratitude.  I won’t put my heart on the line for a simple case of gratitude, no matter how hard I’m biting my tongue right now to not say the words first.
    Brandon saves me from biting my tongue in two when he joins us outside.  “Sure looks like more than ‘just friends’ to me, Luke.  You sure you don’t have something to tell us?”  The light teasing is evident in his voice, so it’s clear he’s not trying to start a fight.  He must know plenty about Luke’s commitment phobia.
    Luke’s spine straightens at Brandon’s words and his muscles tense up.  He’s still looking at me but the adoration I saw just a few seconds ago has been masked.  I am so disappointed right now, I can’t even hide it so I lower my hand and look away from Luke.  He still hasn’t answered Brandon’s question, and I don’t think he plans to at this point.
    “I guess I should finish picking up for your mom,” I hear the disappointment in my voice despite my best effort to keep it out.  I can’t help but feel like that’s the same as putting pressure on him – like in a passive