Free Crazy Maybe by A. D. Justice

is for show, to warn Brandon away from me.
    But this – how he’s holding me, the tone of his voice, the sultry way he whispered only to me, and even the kiss on my cheek – this all feels like so much more than friends.  But he won’t say it and I won’t say it until he does. 
    I want it – I want him.  I want the more-than-friends stage with him but I won’t push him for it so that he’ll just blame me for it later.  If he doesn’t come to that conclusion on his own, we won’t ever move past the friend stage, as much as it hurts me.  I don’t ever let the hurt show, though.  I’m sure he knows I’d love to have more but I won’t pressure him for it. 
    I will gladly take our time together as friends, where I get to know the real Luke.  There is no one else I want to date.  Not that I dated much before he came along anyway.  But if he starts dating someone else, I will back off and let that be the end of any hope I have of us being more.  Until then, I’ll take all the time he will give me and love every minute of it.  Especially like this, when we’re with his family and having so much fun.
    I hear Luke talking to some people a few feet away and he’s talking about me.  “Andi is a phenomenal singer.  You should hear her!  She can sing most anything and she plays the guitar and the piano.” 
    They all turn and look at me with interest.  My eyes dart nervously from one person to another.  Surely they don’t expect me to sing here, at Gran’s party.  “Andi,” Luke’s smooth voice calls out, “sing us a song, sweetheart.”  The people around him smile and chime in their agreement.
    “Umm, I don’t know about that.  I don’t have any music and I haven’t practiced anything….and this is Gran’s party.  That would be rude of me.”  I’m hedging and they all know it.
    “I would love to hear you sing for me on my birthday, Andi,” Gran’s beside me again, smiling as she takes my arm in hers.  “Sam and Linda have an acoustic guitar you can play and sing for me.  Gather around, everyone!”  Gran calls over her shoulder to everyone and they all gather around us as Alicia hands me the guitar with a smile.  Great…no pressure…..
    I don’t think they would like most of the songs I sing at the club, so I pick a slow song by Halestorm that I’ve loved since the first time I heard it.  I can play it all on the acoustic guitar and keep it tame for Luke’s family.  Luke walks up with two bar stools and takes a seat beside me.  “This song is called Beautiful With You ,” I say then start strumming the guitar strings.
    This song is meaningful to me for several different reasons.  Guys frequently hit on me so I know I’m at least attractive.  But I’ve never felt beautiful – I’m sure it has everything to do with my childhood issues.  But I’m feeling more beautiful after spending so much time with Luke, and I don’t mean just in physical appearance.  I mean beautiful inside, where it matters the most. 
    The lyrics to this song speak to so many things I’ve been through – being beautiful to someone else despite your mistakes and flaws.  Someone who understands you and knows the scars you carry inside and out, but only loves you more because of them.  That’s how Luke makes me feel and while I can’t dedicate it to him in front of everyone, this song was written to him by my heart.  Even if Lzzy did sing it first.
    I purposely keep my eyes from locking on Luke’s while I am singing.  It’s already so obvious that I’m crazy about him so I don’t need to add to it.  But I feel him intently watching and I can see him in my peripheral vision.  Brandon moves directly in front of me during the song.  I half expect Luke to move his barstool to block Brandon’s view but Luke doesn’t seem to notice anyone or anything besides me.
    Everyone claps enthusiastically and Gran rushes me, elbowing both Luke and Brandon out of the way, to give me the