Free Second Best Fantasy by Angela Kelly Page B

Maybe what I had said was true, I had been looking for her my whole life. I just knew I was willing to try, no matter what, I was willing to try and make this work.
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Chapter 4
    I dragged Cindy out of the house in the middle of her 70-hour work week to go to CBGBs with me. We got there early and sat at the bar, listening to a newly formed punk band founded in Bayonne, New Jersey. They were good, but it was obvious they were trying too hard to be The Sex Pistols. This is why most bands fail; they can’t create something new and original. It can be argued, of course, that all bands have influences and “it’s all been done before.” But if you wanted to sign and produce, you had to have something special. The Blue Is had Janine. Special indeed.
    When the second band, another, slightly improved punk-pop trio, was clearing their equipment, my girlfriend came bouncing up to the bar behind me and Cindy. “I’m so glad you’re here!” She threw her arms around me and kissed me, I melted as usual. I was so attracted to her it often frightened me, and it seemed to be getting stronger, which was worrisome since I didn’t know if it worked both ways. She ordered a Dewar’s and perched on the barstool next to Cindy.
    “It’s nice to finally meet you; Maggie has told me so much about you.”
    Cindy took her hand and kissed it. “I wish I could say the same, but Maggie has been keeping you under wraps, she says very little.” She winked at me.
    I had told her very little, but not because I was keeping anything to myself, it was because I knew I didn’t have to. Cindy had been reading me like a book for many years and there was rarely an explanation or clarification needed. Janine and I had seen each other as often as we could after the night she drunk-dialed me and came over. As predicted, I had forgiven her by midday, probably by mid-morning.
    She spent most of her time rehearsing with the band and writing, and if not those two things she was with me most of the time. I hadn’t “dated” in so long I’d almost forgotten what it was like, getting dressed, checking yourself out in the mirror, carrying breath freshener in your pocket. My dates with Janine included sitting in on some rehearsals, meeting the other members of the 54
     
    band and their significant others, and the occasional dinner and a movie. There were no recurrences of her behavior the night she blew me off, at least not yet. I had gained equal access to her home as much as my own, it all felt uncomfortably normal.
    The three of us chatted for a short time, then she had to go do what musicians do: set up equipment, sound check, go talk to herself in the dressing room…in truth, I didn’t exactly know. When the lights went down, we moved to a table closer to the stage. Cindy leaned across the table and patted my hand,
    “Let’s see what she’s got. I want to see what pushed you so head over heels.”
    Watching her on the stage was exciting, inspiring, erotic, heartbreaking, all at the same time. It reminded me of when I used to hang out in strip clubs and I had a large circle of friends who did it for a living. Once I knew them well enough, I could see distinct differences in their stripper personas and their true personalities, it was fascinating. I knew when Janine was playing to the audience, seducing them, “prowling the stage” as had been said of The Pretenders’ Chrissie Hynde. She dominated them, I watched the crowd watch her, mesmerized, awed at her passion. I knew from other singers I’d met that the band can’t really see anyone beyond the second or third row because of the stage lights. I also knew that meant Janine could see me, and I loved it. A few times she looked right at me, sang to me, seduced me.
    Most of the songs I recognized, they were all from the same album that contained “Too Much Trouble,” which I was certain would be the closing number.
    Original or not, all concerts still adhered to a certain pattern, it’s just