Free All of Me (All of Me #1) by Tamsyn Bester, Bailey Townsley Page A

admit. I didn’t mean to say it aloud, but something in this moment called for it, like it will be my only chance. I can’t have Jason. I won’t risk the hurt again.
    I’m not upset because I found out my father is handling Jason’s divorce. I’m upset because he said he still loves me. Can I handle that?
    The idea of leaving him in my past makes my chest close, and tighten with fear, and a profound sense of loss. Before I can register it, Jason is wiping the tears from my cheeks.
    “Why are you crying?” He asks - his voice quiet and full of concern.
    I look down momentarily, and then bring my hands up to his face.
    “We can’t do this again, Jason. Being this close to you after all this time is too much. You’re not mine.”
    I interrupt his response with a soft kiss to the lips. In it, is my goodbye. It tells him everything I can’t say out aloud.
    I turn around quickly, and leave the room as fast as my feet can carry me. I run down the hallway, the blood rushing to my ears blocking out any sound. When I reach the living room, I scan the crowd for Cassandra’s head of blonde curls. As soon as she sees me coming, my make-up running down my face, she’s at my side.
    “What’s wrong?” she asks, worried.
    “Can we please l-leave?”
    We’ve only been at the party for two hours or so, and I know we still have to cut the cake, but I can’t stand to be here a minute longer.
    “Of course, sweety, I’ll call a cab.”
    She hooks my elbow, and we walk out while she pulls out her phone. I distinctly hear my name being called, but I keep my head facing forward to avoid seeing who it is. I had a feeling coming here would be a mistake. But I didn’t think it would be because of Jason.
    ***
    When we arrive back at my apartment, Cassandra forces me to have a hot shower, and get myself cleaned up before we curl up on the sofa with a fresh cup of tea.
    “You feeling okay?” Cassandra asks, turning to face me on the sofa.
    I shake my head, unable to answer her truthfully. How do I tell her how I feel when I don’t even know how I feel?
    It’s just not that simple.
    “You going to tell me what happened?”
    I look at Cassandra, and take a moment to collect the mess of thoughts floating around in my head.
    “I overheard my dad talking to Jason. Turns out my dad is handling Jason’s divorce.”
    Cassandra looks at me as if I’ve lost it, so I add, “He said he still loves me.”
    “And? That doesn’t mean anything Lace.”
    My head rears back as if she’s just slapped me in the face. She might as well have.
    “Of course it means something,” I retort. I cross my arms over my chest, and wait for her argument.
    “So you’re willing to go down the same road with a man who all but destroyed you?” Her tone is incredulous, and somewhat condescending, like she’s scolding me.
    “I didn’t say that.” I stand up, and move in front of my windows, hoping for some clarity. Cassandra wasn’t in that guest bedroom with us. She didn’t feel what I felt.
    “Then clearly I’m missing something here, so explain to me why the fact that he still loves you means something if you have no intention of trying again.”
    I spin around and straighten. “I didn’t say I wanted to try again, Cass. It’s just not as easy as I thought it would be to let go of him and what we had.”
    Cassandra stands, and places her hands on her hips.
    “It sounds like you’re considering getting back with him, Lace, and I’m going to be the first person too tell you it’s a bad idea.”
    “I’m not considering anything,” I snap, wishing she were wrong.
    “I know you, and right now you’re thinking about the possibility of trying things with him again, even after the hell he put you through - ”
    “You don’t know what hell I went through, Cass,” I interrupt. When a look of hurt flashes across her concerned face, I immediately feel guilty.
    “I may not know exactly what you went through, but I was there when you crumbled.