Free Following Flora by Natasha Farrant Page B

then immediately felt guilty because I’m sure her reaction was exactly what mine should have been.
    â€œThat’s AMAZING!” Dodi shouted. “A baby! I love babies! They’re so cute!”
    â€œThey cry all night and they poo in their pants,” said Twig. “How is that cute?”
    â€œOh my God!” Dodi was struck by a sudden thought and just looking at her I could tell what it was. “That means your parents still . . .”
    I felt better.
    â€œBabies
are
cute.” Flora brightened. “When it’s born, Zach and I can take it to the park and pretend it’s ours!”
    Twig said that was just weird, but I wish I could be like Flora. Life must be so simple when you’re her.
    Me and Dodi skipped assembly. Dodi pretended to have really bad cramps and I said I had to look after her, and we settled on the floor of the science block toilets, which are still pretty clean first thing in the morning.
    â€œAre you pleased?” Dodi asked, and I told her I didn’t know.
    â€œI bet it’s weird,” she said, and I said yes, it was.
    â€œBut still, nice,” said Dodi. “And you mustn’t think about Iris. It’s not about her, it’s not about her at all.”
    That is why, however annoying she can be, I love Dodi. Because she always knows what I’m thinking.
    I wanted to talk to Jake about the baby too, but he was really quiet today. “That’s so awesome,” he said when I told him, but then when I tried to explain how I was feeling about it, I could tell he wasn’t really listening.
    â€œBoys are rubbish at emotional stuff,” Dodi said to make me feel better.
    â€œJake never used to be,” I replied. Dodi said that she had read in a magazine that some boys find it quite hard to go from friend to boyfriend, and that I had to try and be understanding and give him time and space. So when Jake told me he couldn’t walk home with me after school this afternoon, I just smiled like I really couldn’t care less and said that was fine, because I couldn’t walk home with him, either, and then I went to meet Mum at her office.
    I waited for her outside. She came out looking tired but sort of smiley, and like Flora I wondered how none of us never even noticed how much she’s changed. Now that I know she’s pregnant, it seems so obvious. It’s not so much that she has a big round tummy, but her whole body is so much
thicker
than it used to be. Zoran once told me that people only ever see what they want to see, and I suppose he must be right.
    â€œBlue!” She jumped when she saw me, but I don’t think she was that surprised. I said could we talk, and she tucked her arm into mine and said she knew just the place.
    The church was small and dark and cold, but it smelled of incense and someone had put flowers in front of the altar. A priest in long dark robes was talking to an old lady in one of the front pews. He raised his hand at Mum and smiled like he knew her.
    â€œI come in here sometimes at lunchtime,” Mum said. “It’s a nice place to be quiet.”
    She led me to one of those tables where you can light candles and put some coins in the box.
    â€œIt’s not Christmas yet,” I said.
    Christmas is pretty much the only time we ever go to church, to remember Iris, who died on Christmas Eve.
    Mum just handed me a candle. I tried to pray, but I’m not very good at praying, so I thought instead. I thought about how Iris would feel if it was her standing here instead of me. Iris loved baby animals, and really a human baby isn’t so different from, say, a puppy or a kitten. I thought about how she would never know this baby, and how wrong that was.
    â€œDo you want to feel it kicking?” Mum whispered, and I wasn’t sure, but she took my hand anyway and put it against her tummy underneath her coat. Apparently I used to always feel Twig and Jas kick