Free Highland Scandal by Mageela Troche Page B

in his ear. When he started to the kitchen, he saw that he was alone in the hall.
    It matched his mood.
     
    * * * *
     
    Rowen hid in the chamber. She thought she would be alone here to feel pity for herself. She stiffened when the wind rushed through the chamber from the opening door. Ailsa closed the door behind her. She ambled over to the window and Rowen.
    She kept her gaze aimed out on the mountainous vista. Ailsa said nothing when Rowen felt the tension from her.
    “He turned away from me. He had never done that before.”
    Ailsa leaned a hip on the windowsill. “It is what is proper. Now, you must do the same.”
    “But he is hurt. He needs someone to care for him.”
    “That is not you, Rowen. I do not know what you two were playing at. Imagine if your brother or my husband or worse, Laird Murray or Eacharn had come across you two stealing kisses. I can see that you did not.”
    Rowen crossed her arms and curled up her shoulder to ward off Ailsa’s words. “I am doing my duty.”
    “Nay, you are not. Your duty is to wed Eacharn yet you sneak about with another man. Do you know what you play at?”
    Rowen cringed inwardly at her sharp tone.
    “I love Lachlan. I only wished to have some happiness for myself.”
    Ailsa snorted. “You play at war. I shall not have my husband ride off to slay or be slain because you wish to be selfish.”
    “I am not selfish. And there is no reason for MacLeans to go to war.”
    “Rowen, you are not that ignorant. Lachlan is a MacLean man, his foster brother. He’s a tacksman. Murray will war against us and against your clan. You shall lose your reputation and most likely spend your remaining days in a nunnery.”
    She shook her head at her exaggeration. “Oh Ailsa, you are stretching out the tale. It shall not come to that. Once I am married I shall not see him again.”
    “Stretching—I am not speaking of fairies or my prowess with a dirk. If any insult is given, which it has been, then there can be nothing else. Another thing you have chosen to disregard is how can you find happiness in your marriage if you haven’t let him go.”
    “I have already vowed to do that.”
    “After the marriage or when you leave these lands?”
    Rowen clamped her lips close.
    “Do it now. For yourself and for Lachlan. I know you love him, so love him enough to let him have a chance for something.”
    She hung her head. “I do not want to.”
    Ailsa hugged her. “I understand. To give up the man you love…that was one thing I did not need to do, but whenever Duncan leaves, I feel myself physically torn apart. If I feel a sliver of your pain, then I know you are hurting, nay wounded.”
    “I love him. I love him.” She shook her head. “He loves me. How can I live knowing he is so near? How can I live just hearing about him? To hear him wage war or marry, have children even die. I lied to myself. I lied so well that I believed I could leave him.”
    Rowen collapsed against her with tears falling. Ailsa held her as Rowen let out hitched breaths and silent screams. She pulled on her and dragged Ailsa down to the floor with her. Ailsa rocked her, smoothed down her hair, and just held her.
    “Continue to lie to yourself, and then one day you will discover it is true.” Ailsa cupped her by the chin. She brushed the wet strands caught in her tear tracks, and then wiped the tears from her cheeks.
    Rowen held onto Ailsa’s arm as strongly as she held onto her advice. Weakened, Rowen sat crumpled on the floor. Her shoulder slumped. Her head was too heavy to lift. Her limbs were nothing but mush.
    “Come splash some water on your face.” Ailsa wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted her to her shaky feet. She led her to the basin. She still held her as she poured water. “Come now.”
    She threw handful of chilled water on her blistering face. She threw some more, upset she could still feel.
    Ailsa held out a drying cloth. When she didn’t take it, Ailsa wiped her face.
    Rowen twisted