Free Bad Doctor by John Locke

bananas Foster, or cherries jubilee.”
    Charlie’s words hang in the air like a heart-shaped balloon until Carlos says, “Are you shitting me?”
    “What do you think, pervert? Now turn us to the left so I can restore Kathy’s wardrobe.”
    “And then?”
    “Then we need to find her cell phone and call Chris.”
    “When we call, I do the talking,” Carlos says.
    “Why can’t I ever be Jimmy?”
    “Because you don’t sound like a Jimmy. You sound like a friggin’—”
    “ Don’t say it ! Don’t you dare say that word!” Charlie shouts.
    “What I mean is your voice is higher-pitched. I sound more like a hit man.”
    “A hit man who can’t shoot.”
    “That’s a low blow.”
    Charlie frowns. “Yes it was. I’m sorry. I was just pointing out that even though you’re Jimmy the hit man to Chris and the rest of the world, we’re a team.”
    “Fine.”
    “You need me, I need you.”
    “Right. Got it.”
    “I have an idea!” Charlie says.
    “Great. Yay. Can’t wait to hear it.”
    “How about in private, we just say we’re hit twins.”
    “Yeah, fine. Whatever.”
    “Yeah, fine. Whatever.”

18
     
    Chris Fowler.
Cayman Islands.
    CHRIS JUMPS WHEN his cell phone rings, then checks the screen.
    Kathy.
    He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath.
    “Hello?”
    “It’s me,” Carlos says, “Jimmy.”
    “Is she—”
    “Yeah. She’s dead.”
    “How?”
    “It’s better you don’t know.”
    “Did she suffer?”
    “Not that I could tell.”
    They go silent a moment. Chris says, “You won’t tell me how you killed her?”
    “When the police question you, the less you know, the better you’ll come across.”
    “Okay.”
    Carlos says, “Where’s the balance?”
    “The—what?”
    “The rest of the money. The other ten grand?”
    Chris pauses to think. He paid Jimmy ten already. What if he pays the balance and finds out Kathy’s still alive? On the other hand, not paying Jimmy the rest of the money would be stupid. He’s in Chris’s house , for God’s sake! And paying him later would require another phone call. Right now, they’re good. The call from Kathy’s cell phone gives the appearance she’s alive. When Chris calls her back in a half hour, she won’t answer. He’ll space a few calls over the rest of the day, then call one of the neighbors to check on her. They’ll find the body and call the cops. Then the cops will call him.
    In the Caymans.
    He’s home free, since all calls between he and Jimmy were made with disposable cell phones.
    “Hello?” Carlos says.
    “Huh?”
    “We’re on a time limit here, Chris. Where’s the rest of the money?”
    “Oh. Sorry. In the garage, under the gas can. Behind the ladder.”
    Carlos clicks the phone off, hands it to Charlie, who says, “He still thinks you’re Jimmy?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Did you tell him about me?”
    “We were on speaker.”
    “So?”
    “Did you hear me tell him about you?” Carlos says.
    “No, but I never know what you’re up to. You’re always scheming behind my back.”
    “So you say. Endlessly.”
    “Oh, really?” Charlie says. “Well, for your information, this killer-for-hire business was your idea, Mr. Big Shot Mafia man!”
    “Your point?”
    “If we get caught, I’m turning state’s evidence.”
    “You don’t even know what that means.”
    “Maybe not. But that won’t stop me from cutting a deal with the feds.”
    “The feds, huh?”
    “That’s right. And I’ll sing like a canary! Don’t think I won’t! And then you’ll be sorry.”
    Sing like a canary?
    Carlos rolls his eyes.
    When Charlie gets worked up like this the best thing to do is humor him. Carlos softens his tone and says, “You’ve always had a gift for song.”
    “You think?”
    “Absolutely.”
    Charlie smiles wistfully. “In a perfect world, I could have been the next Nathan Lane.”
    “Wouldn’t that be something?” Carlos says.
    “I’ve been cheated out of my birthright.”
    “So true. Can we get our