Free Something More by Kat Watson Page B

lowering my voice. “I don’t want you to get sick of me too fast.”
    Noah let out an exasperated sigh. “Why don’t you let us decide when we’re sick of you, instead of anticipating that it’ll suddenly happen at any moment?”
    “You’re right, Noah, I just…”
    “I love that you’re so smart,” Jay said, squeezing my hand in his. “But sometimes, what goes on inside that head is a complete mystery to me. Relax, baby. Just relax.”
    I took a deep breath and let it back out slowly. What was the worst that could happen, anyway?  
    Oh, right, my heart could get smashed to bits. I’d been there, done that enough times to recognize the signs that my heart was getting away from my head. I was fighting to stay in control of myself; that was the only way I’d learned not to get hurt. I wanted to trust and enjoy what we had going, but it was an almost-constant internal battle.
    “Well, I’d hate to cancel our movie date.” I looked over at Noah and smiled. “It’s a documentary, after all. And I’ll get another opportunity to mock old-man snack foods.”
    “So glad you see it our way,” Jonathan said, smiling at me.
    After the bill was paid, we went back to their house. I rolled my eyes at myself as I picked a bra up off the corner of one of their nightstands. How could I be so confident and at ease with them when it came to getting naked, but so self-doubting when it came to the rest of our relationship?
    “You can’t stay for dinner?” Noah asked, finding me in the bedroom where I’d snuck away to pack my bag.
    “No. I need to get some things ready to drop off at the dry cleaner in the morning, and I can’t be late. You boys are too much fun to resist, and I know dinner will turn into dessert, which will turn into staying the night. I don’t quite think you’re ready to have me be a jobless freeloader, and I happen to love my job.”
    He flopped onto the bed and opened his arms. “Come lie down with me.”
    I kicked off my shoes and got on the bed beside him. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer, my back resting solidly against his chest.  
    “You know you’ve made things so different,” he said.  
    I had? “How? Good different or bad different?”
    “It was already so good, but having you here is something special for both of us. I can’t explain it. It made sense before—it fit and it worked. But now, it’s…indefinable.”
    I didn’t really know what to say to that, so I hummed and closed my eyes. I wasn’t tired; I just couldn’t stand to take in any more information, not through words or sight.
    I lay with Noah for several minutes before I heard someone enter the room.
    “There you guys are,” Jay said, his tone light and easy. “Scoot over.”
    I wanted him to crawl next to me, to have them both surrounding me and holding me together, but he moved behind Noah. I was glad when his arms wrapped around both of our bodies. Noah’s arms mirrored Jonathan’s, and even though it wasn’t how I imagined needing it, they held me together in their own way, supporting me.  
    “Any special requests for Wednesday?” Jay asked.  
    I thought about it for a few minutes before answering. “No, whatever you make will be delicious. Honestly, it’ll just be nice to have a home-cooked meal. I get so sick of frozen shit from the microwave. Plus, the company will be amazing, too. Perfect.”
    “The company is always the best,” Noah said.
    I smiled, even though I was the only one who knew about it. I was a seriously lucky girl.  
    “The best,” I repeated.  
    My mouth wanted to keep going and betray me with confessions of love. I snapped my lips closed, my cheeks flaming with heat at the love words that had almost slipped out. I needed to guard and nurture the feelings I had for them, make sure they were real and true, before I spoke the words out loud. It had only been a few weeks, after all. Maybe this was just infatuation.
    “Okay, boys,” I said, lifting myself